Tetsuyuubi
by Chopstickman
Summary: Naruto. He's badass and he knows it. Watch as he takes his desire to change Konoha with him on his path to Hokage
1. Chapter 1

Tetsuyuubi

Disclaimer: I don't only Naruto; some really lucky bastard does

Naruto was having a good day. It had been nearly two years since he came into the village in daylight. 'Look at them. All those shocked expressions. You'd think they just saw a ghost'

Chuckling darkly to himself he continued on his way to the ninja academy. It wouldn't do to be late on his first day back after all.

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Sarutobi, the Sandaime Hokage of Konohagaurke no Sato had taken some time from his busy day to do some calligraphy; it always soothed his nerves putting brush to paper. What he expected was to return to his duties in a few minutes right after he was finished with the last character. Ironically enough, as he finished the character for tranquility he heard a muffled explosion. One of his chunin aides rushed in, telling him of an assault on the ninja academy. Wasting no time he rushed to the scene personally. When he had arrived not even a full minute after the initial warning he was greeted by a most peculiar sight.

"Outta my way you assholes! I gotta get to class!"

Uzumaki Naruto. The same boy that had by all accounts disappeared entirely almost two years ago. He was obviously not dead much to the old man's relief but he was no longer the child he had known; no this person was not a boy with chakra control problems, this was a shinobi. Last time the Sandaime had seen that many chunin and genin blown over by a Fuuton Daitoppa was when he taught it to his son Asuma after he became a genin. Deciding now would be a good time to intervene he cleared his throat, catching everyone's attention.

"Naruto-kun. It is good to see you again. You had me worried"

"Hokage-ojisan! When did you get here?"

"Hokage-sama! Help us! It's trying to-"

"Trying to go the class! Since when did that become illegal? I certainly don't remember that law"

The man sputtered; the Hokage was going to let that demon back into the academy? The Hokage motioned for the ANBU behind him to arrest the man who spoke up and detain all who attacked Naruto. He then turned towards the boy and looked him over. The orange jacket had both sleeves ripped off and unzipped, revealing a black sleeveless undershirt. The pants were much the same as the last time the Hokage had seen the boy, but were bandaged at the bottom, much like how many in the standard shinobi uniform did. He still had those ridiculous goggles on his forehead. His hair was longer and wilder than before so they were probably used to keep his hair out of his eyes.

"Well Naruto-kun. I believe you have a class to get to"

"Oh right. Ja ne Hokage-Ojisan!"

As Naruto scampered off to his classroom the old man felt a refreshing wave pass over him. 'Looks like things will be livelier around here'

Oh how right he was.

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Hinata was having one strange day. First last nights red beans and rice dinner and receiving the Talk from Kurenai on the walk to school. That would be a lot to handle for any child but also there was the obligation as part of the Hyuga clan, especially her being the heiress, to marry someone strong. Trouble was the only standout boy in her class was Uchiha Sasuke. She didn't like him at all. He rarely spoke, and when he did it was derogatory to the one he was speaking to, he never smiled or showed any other facial expression besides a brooding scowl. The fact that her father outright forbade any remotely romantic thoughts about said Uchiha was only a plus in her mind. If only Naruto was still here. That bright blond hair, those piercing blue eyes, wonderful smile, that never say die attitude… well, a girl could dream.

"Uzumaki Naruto, kenzan!"

kenzan is here

Let me know if I don't translate any words for you.


	2. Chapter 2

Tetsuyuubi

Disclaimer: I don't only Naruto; some really lucky bastard does

"What? Cat got your tongues?"

Everyone turned to the door. There stood Naruto, in all his ten year old glory. Iruka was speechless. He had heard the sounds of battle and wisely kept his students inside. The noise ended only a few moments ago. He was expecting one of his fellow teachers to come and tell him the situation, but Naruto just came strolling in.

"Why don't you jerks take a picture? It'll last longer. Longer than those little pricks outside anyhow"

As he crossed his arms Hinata considered it. Naruto had always been a little uncouth, so his language was not distracting her, but those well defined arms of his…anyone care to guess why she suddenly felt faint?

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Back at the Hokage tower after the interrogations were complete it was judged that the four genin weren't really to blame, as they were following orders from their former instructors at the academy. However all three chunin sensei were fired and threatened with demotion should they attack Naruto again.

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The next day Naruto once again plowed through another barrage of chunin; this time it was five with no genin backup. Sarutobi almost felt bad for punishing them, all but one was hospitalized for a week. This was truly an embarrassment for the village, its respected chunin beaten up by one of its academy students. 'I certainly hope word of this doesn't get out of the village. And that those idiot chunin learn not to mess with the boy'

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Growing worried at the recent reports of violence at the academy Hyuga Hiashi decided to bring his daughter back home himself. He would have gone in the morning, but had other matters to attend to.

"Eat shit and die losers!"

That statement, punctuated by the sound of flesh hitting flesh led Hiashi to realize the validity of those reports. As he activated his byakugan a strange sight greeted him. Most of the students were still there, watching a pair of chunin as they collided with each over and fell in a tangled heap. 'Answers who took the blow. As to who struck it?'

"Maybe now you wimps'll leave me alone. Feh. Peckerheads"

Well that was the answer he wanted. Deactivating his dojustu Hiashi looked the boy over. Plenty rough and tumble; a real street fighter type. But how was he able to fight off a single chunin, let alone two?

"Hyuga-sama! You can save us!"

Hiashi looked over to the side. He recognized the man as his nephew's instructor.

"You can help us get rid of that-"

"Suck it ass monkey!"

A devastating right cross to the temple and the instructor was down. Hiashi raised an eyebrow. He wasn't worried, his speed far out shined the boy's; incredible though it was. He was more concerned where he had learned such language. The boy in question looked up at him.

"He called you Hyuga… and those eyes… hey! You're that really cute girl's dad, right?"

Hiashi then learned of the reason behind his eldest daughter's recent fainting spells. The boy's words caused her to collapse, dead to the world. 'So much for the pride of the Hyuga clan'

"Tell me boy, what is your name?"

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto! And one day I will be Hokage!"

"Really? And why is that?"

"So that I may change this wretched village for the better"

Hiashi was stunned. He wasn't expecting that answer.

"Oh yeah. Thanks for not attacking me. I really appreciate it. Well gotta go. Ja ne"

Collecting his unconscious daughter Hiashi began the trek home. 'That boy is quite intriguing. Perhaps more investigation is necessary'

Suddenly a kunai shot forward and scratched the young Uzumaki's arm. One of the other instructors had gotten back up.

"Itai damnit! That hurt you ass munching bastard! Arashidan!"

A spiraling column of air sprang from the forearm of the enraged youth and slammed the unfortunate chunin into the wall of the academy proper. Hiashi was not alone as he pondered just how the boy had become so powerful. And so vulgar. But one observer was thinking along a different tilt. Uchiha Sasuke saw the power Naruto had. And he wanted it.

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Anko was pleased. Proctoring the second stage of the chunin exams had to be her favorite job. Snaking on some sweet bean soup and dango she noticed something out of place. 'Who the… hey it's that Uzumaki kid'

"Oi gaki! Where do you think you're going?"

"Inside the fence. Why else would I be walking toward it?"

Taken aback by the blunt answer Anko was silent until Naruto turned back to the fence.

"Stop right there! This forest is too dangerous for an academy brat like you!"

"Yeah right. I live here!"

"You mean in the f&$#ing Forest of Death?!"

"No, I mean in the gingerbread house by the lake. Of course I mean the Forest of Death! What are you brain-dead?"

"You little twerp! You can't talk to me like that!"

"You see any other kunoichi around here? Cause I only see one. But that's debatable"

Few things got to Anko like insulting her gender. So red-faced and growling she launched a kunai at the offending young boy. Reacting quickly Naruto dodged.

"What the hell was that for bitch?!"

"Guess you little bastard!"

"That time of the month?"

"Senei Jashu!"

Snakes shot out of Anko's sleeve and encircled Naruto. Using his wind shield Naruto pushed the snakes away before he got trapped. Naruto quickly rushed Anko hoping to engage her in taijutsu. She instead used her superior speed to get behind him and knock him out. 'Kid's got quite a mouth on him. But he couldn't actually live in there. I'd better take him back to the academy'

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As the tokubestu jonin strolled toward the academy she was given some strange looks. Some apprehensive, others almost joyous. It began to weird her out until one person spoke up.

"Is it dead? Are we free from the bakemono?"

Anko was shocked. They wanted this kid dead? Just for holding the damn Kyubi? Using shushin she put as much distance between her and the speaker and went by rooftop to the academy. Recognizing the signs of recent battle she growled a bit the kicked the doors in, yelling for any instructors present to show themselves. Fortunately, Iruka was the first to show up.

"What's going on her- Naruto! What happened? Who did this to him?"

"Calm down. He's just unconscious. You seem to know him. Why was he trying to get into training area 44?"

Recognizing the name Iruka led Anko into his classroom. They both took a seat while Naruto was put down on one of the desktops. Anko broke the silence.

"Well?"

"Naruto has had a rough life. Really rough. He told me yesterday when I asked him that he lived in the central tower in training area 44. He said he felt safer there"

"You can't be serious. There's just no way…"

"Unfortunately or fortunately if you think about it he didn't see it that way. He just knew that most if not all people avoid it. That's why he ran away there two years ago. I had just become his primary instructor too"

"As heart wrenching as that was I can't let him stay there. The next five days is the second stage of the chunin exam"

"Chunin exam eh? That brings back memories"

"Really? Oh yeah, you were the class clown back in the day weren't you? Never pegged you for the teaching type"

"What can I say? I grew up. Especially in my first chunin exam up in Grass country. First time I lost a team member"

"Too bad. I got through mine easy enough. My teammates could barely stand me so they were more then happy to be rid of me"

"It's a shame the way people treat you. I for one don't care who your old sensei was; you're still a Konoha nin and that's what matters"

Anko blushed at the scarred chunin's words. That was one of the sweetest things anyone ever said to her. 'Doesn't that make my social life sound crummy. Hmmm. Iruka is kinda cute… but first things first'

"Thanks but we really need to do something about the gaki. He can't go back in the Forest"

"When he wakes up we'll talk to him"


	3. Chapter 3

Tetsuyuubi

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; some really lucky bastard does

Hinata was worried. It was not often she was called into her father's office. Nevertheless she tried to put on a brave face as she entered.

"Hinata. I have some questions I wish for you to answer"

"I w-will answer t-to the best of my knowledge"

"Uzumaki Naruto. What do you know of him?"

Hinata was at an impasse. She could think of many reasons to like him; but those things might not be exactly what her father would want to hear. Perhaps just some facts about him? Taking a deep breath she spoke.

"He's rude, crude, ill-spoken, belligerent…"

At this point her voice changes from one of stating pure fact to one with obvious admiration. This was not lost on Hiashi.

"… incredibly strong, smart; even though he doesn't show it, loyal to those he respects, he can even be gentle when he needs to be, and he's really cute to-"

Shocked at her own admission she slaps a hand over her traitorous mouth. Looking fearfully at her father she silently begs any kami that's listening to get her out of this situation. Hiashi merely raised an eye brow at his eldest's words.

"If that is all, then you may go. However I would like to know just how strong he is as well as any other skills he possesses; like that Arashidan he used" 'I already knew she liked the boy; but he has to meet certain criteria to become part of this clan. Brute strength alone won't cut it'

Suffice it to say that the current generation of Hyuga, Hinata Neji and Hanabi, were encouraged to wed outside the clan, due to the amount of relatedness between them. They have no intention of having another inbred Hyuga, last time it gave birth to the Uchiha clan and no Hyuga wanted that to happen again.

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The next day the chunin instructors (all two left) did not impair Naruto's approach to class, mostly due to the fact that the two were Iruka and the chick with wavy hair and glasses that taught flower arranging to the would-be-kunoichi whose name I can't remember. On this oddly peaceful morning Hinata walked into the classroom and scanned the room. Naruto was sitting in the back, tilting his chair on its back legs with his feet on the desk. He was in the corner, only one seat available next to him. Summoning up her courage, she marched over to that open chair. She got closer and closer; so close she chickened out. Now there lay but one empty chair between them. Her face was red and her heart was racing. He was right there! The other girls in the room cast curious glances at the young Hyuga heiress. She couldn't like that atrocious Naruto! He was so… well not ideal boyfriend material. No family could possibly want him to join them.

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In a totally unrelated incident at the Hyuga compound Hiashi was talking with his father over tea.

"Are you serious about this?"

"If he should prove worthy it would not be that much a blow to the clan's reputation. Not if he does become Hokage"

"He is still a ruffian with no class, refinement or respect for authority"

"That is one of the reasons Hinata likes him if I'm not mistaken"

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'Okay Hinata. You can do this. Just ask him about his training. No pressure'

Finished with her self pep talk Hinata turned to Naruto. It was a study period, like most of the classes would be until the teachers were replaced or released from the hospital.

"N-n-n-nnaru-aru-to-kun I an-n-no y-yyou…"

Blinking in confusion at the red-faced girl Naruto tried to figure out what she was saying. The meaning behind the nervous finger poking gesture was totally lost on him, however. In his limited experience with social interaction he had made some generalizations. If a person's face was red in the absence of a heat source, then that meant the person was a pervert. But that never happened to a girl to the best of his knowledge, but the redness was a clue on male shinobi anyway that his Orioke no jutsu would work very well. Could girls be perverts too? And if so, would she want to see his Orioke no jutsu? He had to know.

"Wanna eat lunch together?"

Hinata squeaked and passed out. Naruto noticed she didn't have a nosebleed. Conclusive proof she wasn't a pervert. But why was her face red? Oh well. Find out later.

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Hinata was mortified. She woke up a minute or so after fainting only to have Naruto ask to eat lunch together again. She remained conscious this time and in the hour it took to have lunch period arrive she managed to bring her heart rate down to a manageable level.

As the students filed outside for lunch Hinata and Naruto stayed in the classroom.

"M-mm-my Ch-chchhichuie wan-wanted to kn-know ab-about yo-your jutsu"

"Oh. Okay. I know a few. There's the Fuuton Kaze Tate, and Daitoppa, and my personal creations; orioke no jutsu, Arashidan and my best, Tetsuyuubi. Why'd he wanna know anyhow?"

"He wan-wwanted to kno-know how g-ggo-good a sh-shshinobi you we-were"

"That all? I could'a just showed him yesterday. OH! I know how to show 'im"

As Hinata stuttered her confusion Naruto just told her to wait and see.

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Hinata can home that night and told her father what she had learned. He was somewhat disappointed in the lack of descriptions for the last three jutsu. He was intrigued by just how Naruto planned on showing what a good shinobi he was.

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In the morning Hiashi heard what could be a squeal of delight coming from Hinata's room. Rushing to it she saw his eldest posing in front of her mirror with a raspberry colored beret. On the floor he spotted a box with a note.

It read:

So, think I'm a good enough shinobi yet?

Hiashi chuckled inwardly. So Naruto was slippery enough to break into and out of the Hyuga compound unnoticed. Every other person that tried that ended up very dead.

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Later it was discovered that some of the night guards had passed out due to blood loss sometime last night. Thankfully knowledge of this has never gone beyond the Hyuga's walls.

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Hinata was animatedly walking to the academy. Many heads turned toward her, as the girl had never worn a hat before, nor had she ever held her head so high. As she approached the academy s sight crimson appeared on her cheeks. She couldn't wait to see her Naruto-kun and show him how she looked in the beret. Once inside the classroom Everyone took notice of her. Undaunted she meekly went to her seat one away from Naruto.

"You look real cute in that Hinata"

Instantly the small blush she had went down her neck and up beyond the hairline. Stammering incoherently and poking her index fingers together she tried not to look him in the eye. Naruto just sat there smiling at her.

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When lunch period came all the girls in the class whisked Hinata away. They demanded to know where she got her raspberry beret. In response she gave a shy smile and said…

"It's a secret!"


	4. Chapter 4

I have hit a major writer's block. So in the same tradition of other authors who get stuck I pass the creative torch on to you, the readers!

The problem is that I don't know what Naruto's team should be like. So here are the options:

1 Same team 7

2 Random team decided by a roll of the dice

3 Naruto and Hinata then random person (Note- it really will be random, I'm puting names in a hat and drawing them out)

4 Just yell at me to update the story

Review or PM me your vote, whichever you think is best

I also apologize to anyone who thought this was actual content. Don't worry, it is coming, I just update irraticly


	5. Chapter 5

Author's rant: Here it is; the next chapter! So that means the poll is closed. Although I must say, no insult intended mind you, but you guys really need to learn what random means. When I wrote that, I meant that there was no way of knowing exactly who was going into that spot. **If** I wanted to have people suggest who to put in, I would have said that. -.-

Anyway since the Naru-Hina-random won, they are now a team. And it was truly random; I had no idea who was going where.

And SS-ICE-Fang, thanks for the idea of who to make their sensei.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, I only own my delusions of adequacy

Finally the day of the genin exams came. The academy was atwitter with anticipation from both students and instructors. By this time all the instructors that had been beaten up by Naruto had recovered and were more than happy to get him out of the academy. Of course Naruto also knew this was one of the final times he would have to come here so decided to piss them off one last time. Instead of his usual attire he proudly sported a black t-shirt with bright orange lettering stating the simple phrase:

G FCK YRSLF

Would you like to buy a vowel?

Needless to say many individuals were more than incensed at this. When they brought this up with Naruto his response was to add in the vowels himself. Nevertheless once the exam was concluded he proudly sported his hitai-ate.

"One step down. Now to get ready for the chunin exams"

"Oi dobe. Stop talking nonsense. You only passed so the teachers won't have to deal with you anymore"

Naruto angrily turned to the source of the voice. None other than Uchiha Sasuke.

"Stop spewing that shit assface. I passed on my own merit; I didn't rely solely on the fame of my _dead_ relatives to pass"

"How dare you!!"

Sasuke lunged at Naruto. Naruto snapped a short kick to Sasuke's shin, distracting him. Grabbing the Uchiha's hair Naruto landed a world shaking elbow strike to Sasuke's temple. Dropping to his knees Sasuke tried to stand and get his bearings. Naruto didn't give him the luxury and delivered a powerful kick to Sasuke's ribs, leaving him sprawled on the ground in front of everyone. Naruto then started walking away.

"Wuss"

No one could move, except for Hinata who followed Naruto, and likewise not a single person could believe Uchiha Sasuke went down so easy.

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"Naruto-kun that was mean"

"Prick deserved it. Now you were going to show me what a 'date' was, right?"

Blushing Hinata nodded. Gulping she reached out to hold Naruto's hand. Returning the gentle pressure Naruto smiled. This holding hands stuff wasn't too bad. Nearly passing out the entire walk Hinata successfully lead Naruto to a small clearing near the river. Previously she had selected the location and asked on of the branch members to bring a picnic basket for her and Naruto. Once Naruto and Hinata were there the basket was delivered. That day Naruto learned that a date was where two people sat down together and tried to see who could last longer without touching the other person. Hinata never bothered to correct him; she just leaned against his shoulder and watched the sun set.

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The final day in the academy. The time of reckoning has come!

"Today we will be splitting you up into teams of three and assigning you a jonin instructor, so listen up"

Let's get right to the good part shall we?

"Team seven, Uchiha Sasuke, Inuzuka Kiba, Haruno Sakura"

Enter the fangirl squeal of joy. Once everyone's hearing returned to normal Iruka continued.

"Team eight, Hyuga Hinata, Uzumaki Naruto, Yamanaka Ino"

"No! Why do I have to be on the same team as that-"

Once again interrupted Iruka sighed. There was nothing he could do, didn't they get that? Choosing teams wasn't his duty, for all he knew they wrote potential genin's names on a die and rolled it three times per team.

AN: I actually did do this. I went to a website (that is now on my profile because I can't type it here, it doesn't come up) and hit the 'customize your die' button. I typed in names on the different sides of the die and rolled it. Its the first thing that comes up on Yahoo search if you type in 'virtual dice'

"-And he smells like he bathes in a river! He's _so_ just not pleasant to be around!"

Irritated Naruto cleaned out his ear with a pinky.

"Oi, harpy"

"I am not a harpy you-"

Flicking his earwax at the girl elicited many shrieks of disgust. In spite of herself Hinata had to stifle a laugh; though the mean Yamanaka deserved it.

"IF I CAN HAVE YOUR ATTENTION! I still have other teams to do. Team nine, Nara Shikamaru, Aburame Shino, Akimichi Chouji.--"

Soon all teams had been named and were off having lunch together. Well not team seven. But who cares. On a roof top bench team eight were all getting along.

"I can't believe you did that to me! You are so gross! My Dad's going to totally shit a gold brick when he hears of this!"

Like bulldog ants and… well anything that moves really. They are ornery little bastards. In the midst of Ino's rant Naruto turned to Hinata.

"Does she have an off switch?"

"Naruto-kun! That's mean"

"Then why are you smiling like that?"

Unable to stop herself Hinata let loose a few peals of laughter. Ino was ready to start another tirade only with Hinata as the target. But before she could it was time to return to class for the jonin instructors to be announced.

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Today was a good day. Upon learning about her newest assignment Anko was less than enthused. But after she heard to details, she changed her tune. She and Kurenai were making their way to the ninja academy.

"You seem happy. Any particular reason?"

"Heh. Just who my students are"

"I still can't believe they completely ignored my request and-"

"Calm down already. No sense in being mad before going in. An old lady like you might scare them off that way"

"OLD LADY!? You're not that much younger than me!"

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Iruka was ineffectively trying to keep some semblance of order in his classroom. Lucky for him Anko burst into the room.

"Alright gaki! I'm here for team eight!"

'_At least she didn't go with the banner this time…'_

Iruka sighed. It cost him a door but order was restored. Somehow. Reading off the names of the jonin assigned to the teams all left except for Anko's and of course Kakashi's team. Anko unsubtly got behind Iruka and draped her arms around his neck, pressing certain noticeable assets into his back. Predictably, he went redder than a tomato.

"So, Iru-kun. Finally free from all the tedium of being a teacher? At least for a while"

"A-anko-san! Th-this isn't the time or the place to get into-"

"Later then. My place. Tonight. Seven. Be there"

With a final lick to the flustered teacher's neck Anko took her students and left for her favorite dango shop.

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Once at the dango shop Anko ordered her usual and sat down. Naruto, Hinata and Ino all sat in front of her.

"Alrighty then. Let's get the introductions out of the way. I'm Mitarashi Anko, tokubestu jonin and lover of dango"

"Then what are you doing here? Only regular jonin become jonin instructors"

"I have my reasons. Now your name"

"Yamanaka Ino. I like flowers and Sasuke-kun. And I won't let Forehead-girl take him away from me! I just have to work twice as hard since she's on his team!"

Naruto made a show of yawning. Hinata blushed at him, wanting to tell him that it was a rude thing to do; regardless of the fact she also thought it was boring. Anko was slightly miffed.

'_Feh. Fangirl. They make us serious kunoichi look bad'_

"That we are going to work on"

Ino looked up at her teacher, eyes bright with hope.

"Really?"

"Yup! By the time I'm done with you, you won't even think twice about him"

Ino turned to stone from shock. Flashing the statue a toothy grin Anko indicated that it was Hinata's turn.

"My name is Hyuga Hinata. I like…"

Hinata trailed off to look at Naruto. He sat there, expecting her to continue. She gave him a shy smile.

"I like my family and those I care about. My hobby is pressing flowers"

Ino spontaneously revived, glad to know her fellow kunoichi also liked flowers. Naruto took his turn as the dango order came for Anko.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I like kickin' ass and takin' names"

"Haha. My kind of genin"

Anko surveyed her students. A broad smile crossed her features.

"I think we're all gonna get along just fine. Just get ready, tomorrows a big test; meet me here at eight, no, nine"

"Why'd you change it? Expecting to stay up really late with Iruka-sensei tonight?"

Reddening Anko bashed Naruto over the head.

"Urusai!"

"Eeep! Naruto-kun!"

Hinata inspected her crush's abused melon. Naruto chuckled a bit. He loved teasing both Iruka and Anko about their relationship. He of course knew more than anyone about it since he had been living with Iruka for slightly longer than the two've been dating.


	6. Chapter 6

Ino trudged home. Her parents were there and waiting for her to tell them all about her new genin team. She really wasn't looking forward to telling them about her team. Taking a deep breath Ino blew it out and straightened up.

"I'll just let Daddy know and then he can get me onto Sasuke-kun's team. There's no problem at all!!"

Skipping toward's home Ino felt much better. Ah, the joys of false hope.

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Later that evening at Iruka's apartment the young teacher fussed about. In the teaching lurch that would be taking place in the next few months he would be reassigned to aid the Hokage at the mission desk. Working directly with the Hokage didn't really faze him all that much, but giving missions to the new genin wasn't going to be very pleasant once they found out what a D ranked mission really was.

'_No time to brood over that now. It's almost time to go meet Anko-san'_

A blush colored his cheeks as he thought of what Anko had in mind for him. Shaking his head to clear it of such thoughts Iruka wrote a note for Naruto, reminding him to wake up in time for his genin test tomorrow.

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"What? You can't do anything? But Daddy!!"

"Sorry Ino-chan. But rules are rules and the rules say no changes in genin lineups. I'm sure that being with Uzumaki won't be so bad… that Hyuga seemed like a nice girl…"

"But-but-!"

"And Anko is a respected kunoichi who will definitely help you get stronger"

Storming off to her room the irate blonde left her father exasperated. In truth he didn't think it was such a bad situation, but on the other hand…

"I wonder if Chouza and Shikaku are available for a drink. I could use one"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Iruka walked up to Anko's door. He had come this way many times before but he still couldn't help but be embarrassed. Swallowing his apprehension he moved to knock on the door. But before he could connect the door swung open.

"Right on time. Get in here"

Anko grabbed his collar and yanked the flustered chunin inside. Slamming the door behind her she…oh I'm sure you get the picture. This is only rated T after all.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Nine of the clock. Naruto, Hinata and Ino all sit in wait for their instructor to arrive. Ino had bags under her eyes; a testament to how little sleep she got last night.

'_Grrrr. Stupid Daddy. Couldn't he at least try to change my teammates? No, he had to go out drinking and then come home with his friends in the middle of the night and start singing! They're totally horrible at it too!! My life sucks!!'_

Hinata was having fun watching Naruto try to drink out of a bottle. You know, the ones that have a marble inside that closes off the top unless you hold the bottle in a certain way. Speaking of which, anybody know what those are called?

"Gimme the usual and make it a double!"

Anko's entrance was anything but subtle. Plopping herself down infront of her genin Anko greeted them with a bright smile.

"So how are you this morning?"

Noting her healthy glow and girlish smile Ino and Hinata were slightly creeped out. Naruto, recognizing the signs called Anko out.

"I see you had fun filled morning. You two didn't break the bed again did you?"

Anko blushed and bashed Naruto over the head.

"Shut up! We were on a futon. Anyway, your mission is to…"

Anko stopped. She considered many different options, but settled on just one.

"Your mission is to prank three jonin and get away with it!"

"Nani!? That's supposed to be our final test!?"

All present ignored Ino as Anko's dango arrived and Naruto figured out the bottle. Frustrated, Ino stamped her foot.

"DON'T ANY OF YOU TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY?!"

"Um, no?"

Naruto laughed as Ino collapsed, foaming from the mouth.

"Mou, Naruto-kun. We're supposed to be pranking jonin, not each other"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Let us now visit the hunting grounds. As all good predators know you always seek out the easiest prey first; the old, the weak, the sickly, the young… the stupid.

"Such youth! Truly it is such a wonderful expression of youth!"

"Yosh Gai-sensei! I always strive my hardest to fulfill and exceed all expectations!"

Case in point. In a tree overlooking the clearing Naruto, Hinata and Ino watched. The other two members of Gai's team were elsewhere, making now the perfect time to strike.

"Perfect. He's standin' still; Ino, take him over and say the line"

"Ew! No way am I going in his body!"

"Ino-san, you need to do so. Unless we complete the mission…"

"Alright alright fine I'll do it"

Using her family's trademark jutsu Ino's consciousness flew out of her body and into none other than Rock Lee. As usual Lee's body stiffened and then relaxed suddenly as Ino took command.

"Lee-kun? Is there something the matter?"

"I have something I must tell you Gai-sensei. I can no longer keep it inside"

"And what would that be, my kawaii student?"

"I think of you when I touch myself"

In Gai's shock he did not notice the small jerk indicative of Ino leaving Lee's body. Lee noticed his instructor's horrified expression.

"Gai-sensei? What is the matter?"

"Oh Lee-kun! Lee-kun my confused student! How could I have gone so wrong?!"

"Have I erred in some manner? Please, you must let me make up for it!"

"Do not worry my student! I your instructor shall lead you back to the right path! The new training begins immediately!"

"At once Gai-sensei!"

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Ha ha ha! That was perfect! He never saw it coming! Ha ha ha ha!"

"That was SOOO disgusting!! I feel violated! Ugh!"

Hinata tried to comfort her teammate. It must have been quite disconcerting to enter someone else's body and say such a thing.

"Okay, so who's next?"

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Decisions, decisions. The first target was easy, almost too much so. A challenge was needed. But who would make for an interesting target? Mayhap a certain cyclops? Or walking ashtray? Chewing fetish? Totally nondescript? Confusing befuddlement? Random word?

"How about that guy? He looks ripe for the picking"

"Ewww! He looks gross"

"We are trying to prank people here harpy"

"I'm not a harpy you-mph! Mphmm!"

Hinata frowned. To keep Ino quiet Naruto clamped his hand over her mouth, much to the young Yamananka's ire. Ino predictably fumed and tried to get Naruto to let go of her.

'_Mou. I need to teach him more manners soon. But unless we pass this test we can't become genin'_

Gekkou Hayate calmly strode down the street. He didn't have much to do until later, so now was basically relaxation. A small object caught his eye. On closer examination it was revealed it was a fake cockroach on a string. Following the string to the prankster Hayate expected to give the misguided youth a stern talking to. As he entered the alley the string emanated from he got a bit of a surprise.

"Hyuga Hinata? Why are you holding that string? Did someone put you up to this?"

"Um well… sorry"

"Huh? Wha-"

A sudden rustle of fabric and a hard shove and Hayate found himself laying in the street pantless.

"Look everyone! It's NO-PANTS-MAN!!"

Naruto's bellow attracted the attention of all the people in the street at that time. But one stood out more than the others

"Hayate?"

"Ah, (name of purple-haired anbu chick who is in love with him. Anyone know what it is? I swear she had one). It isn't what it looks like"

"That is just disgusting! I thought you were better than that"

"No wait come back! I can explain!"

"You can forget our date today!"

zzzzzzzzzzz

"Woohoo! One more to go!"

"Okay that last one was funny. But not that funny!"

Hinata felt awful. If her father knew what she was doing…

"Thank goodness there is only one left. I'm not sure I could take any besides that one"

"What's the matter Hinata?"

"I'm not that comfortable with pranking people. It's mean"

"Well we still gotta do it. If you want you can have a smaller part in the next one okay?"

"I would like that Naruto-kun"

Ino sighed. After awhile the Naruto-Hinata interaction got boring. They were just too content with each other. Casting her glance over to the left she spied Ebisu trying to nonchalantly enter a bookstore. This of course meant that he was extremely obvious; not counting the trench coat and fedora.

"What about him?"

"Eh? Oh he'll do fine."

zzzzzzzzz

Ebisu was not a pervert. He did not indulge in any disreputable behaviors. Not that he was better than anyone or anything. He just didn't lower himself to that level is all. The small orange book he didn't just purchase is proof of that.

"Mister! Mister! Can you help me?"

"Do you need something young one?"

"My kitty ran inside that pipe and got stuck. Please help my kitty Mister!"

"Of course I will. Let it not said that Ebisu is not a helpful citizen"

Ebisu looked at the pipe. He could see a bit of an outline and it looked like a cat. He reached and felt around for the cat. As his hand met something warm he realized it wasn't furry. More like squishy. Recalling his hand he found copious amounts of brown slathered all over his hand. He gave off a shrill, girlish squeal and ran as though the hounds of hell were at his heels.

"Mission accomplished. Let's head back"

"Finally. I can get out of this kid's body"

Ino, whose formerly lifeless body was being supported by Hinata, stood up.

"Ano, was that really necessary?"

"He's the perv buyin' that Icha Icha crap. Who cares if we did that to 'im?"

Unable to answer Hinata fell in line with her teammates as they walked back to the dango shop.


	7. Chapter 7

Anko was having a ball. Her team had just come back and gave their mission report. So of course she declared them official genin. The rest of the day was theirs as missions didn't start until the next day. The only thing that could make this day better was if she could brag about her genin.

"Ah! Kurenai will get a real kick outta this!"

zzzzzzzzz

"They did that? Seriously? My word you _are_ corrupting them!"

"Oh back off it was just a few pranks nobody got hurt or anything"

"But making that innocent girl act as bait just so that little hellion could pull down Hayate's pants…"

A certain anbu member, who happened to be female and with purple hair, heard their conversation. Yuugao (thank you for the name various helpful peoples. I really appreciate it) stomped over.

"Hey there Anko-chan. Is what you just said true?"

"Ha! Sure was! And he wasn't the onl- oh crap! Yuugao! How nice to see you!"

"You're going to get it for sticking your brats on my Hayate-kun!"

"Hey it's not my fault!"

"Meibatsu!"

"Wahhh!"

Kurenrai just let out a heavy sigh. Not bothering to follow the two kunoichi she instead went to pray at a shrine for the sake of Anko's genin.

zzzzzzzzzz

Hinata was in the garden. Even if it was a mission, she didn't like to be mean to people. Her sister came up to her.

"Neechan. Otosan wants to talk with you about your test today"

Hanabi noted how her sister paled after the word 'test'. She secretly hoped that she could listen in as Hinata talked with their father. Hinata gulped nervously and followed her sister to where their father was waiting for them.

"I hear that you passed your final genin test today. How did it go?"

"It well that um I ah…"

"Hinata, try to make sense"

Just then Hinata started crying.

"I didn't want to! Anko-sensei made me! I'm not a bad person!"

Hiashi quickly grasped Hinata's shoulder while Hanabi gave her sister a hug.

"Just calm down. No one will blame you"

"It's okay Neechan"

After a few sniffles Hinata continued.

"We…we had to-to…"

Hinata spilled everything about the pranks, fully distraught over her participation in them. Hiashi thought the whole thing was absurd but tried to calm his eldest. Hanabi was thinking along a different track.

'_Anko-sensei is so cool!!'_

zzzzzz

"What are you doing here Shikamaru? And why is Chouji with you?"

"Tch. Mendokusei. We passed our genin tests so our parents wanted to celebrate"

"Then why is it at my house?"

Shikamaru decided that it just wasn't worth trying to explain anything to Ino while she was in one of her moods. Unfortunately for him Chouji was already eating, so he really had no escape.

"Say something already!"

"I'm gonna take a nap"

"A nap? It's already dark outside! Hey! I'm talking to you! Don't ignore me!"

'_Thank goodness I'm on a team with Shino. Nothing's better than a nice quiet teammate'_

zzzzzzzz

The day had arrived! The first day of D-ranked missions.

"Hell yeah! Mission time!"

Naruto was fired up. Ino and Hinata were also exited, but were much more sedate about it. Hinata had gotten over her little episode from the previous day. She hadn't been that stressed in quite some time but now she was fine. Naruto had held her hand since he picked her up from her house and still was! Anko led her intrepid team to the mission counter. With his old eyes full of fatherly pride the Sandaime welcomed them.

"Welcome. Ready for your first mission?"

"Bring it on! I'm ready to kick some ass!"

Chuckling the aged shinobi handed a scroll to Anko and then turned back to the genin.

"Be sure to enjoy yourselves"

As Anko took her team out the Sandaime waited for it.

"WE'RE DOING WHAT!?"

The old man chuckled some more as he lit his pipe.

'_That never gets old'_

zzzzzzz

And thus team eight began its inaugural mission by painting a fence.

"This blows"

"That paint better not get on my clothes!"

"Ano, if we hurry, it will be over faster"

Anko decided to offer a reward to encourage her genin to work harder.

"You guys finish fast enough and I'll teach you all a new jutsu"

"Really? Sweet! Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"

Suddenly a swarm of orange engulfed the fence. In seconds the swarm poofed out of existence. In their wake they left a fully painted fence.

'_Maybe that wasn't the best idea…oh well' _"You got the fence painted and I did promise you a jutsu so, on to the training fields!"

zzzzzzzzz

At an empty training field Anko sat her genin down and leaned against a tree.

"So a jutsu for my little genin… I got one! Shunshin! Oh, wait that needs pretty good control… hey you gaki know the tree climbing exercise, right?"

Seeing only Hinata's hand raised Anko growled.

'_Damn, just what do they teach in that damn academy anyway? Gotta bring that up with Iruka'_ "Well anyway you each choose a tree and use your chakra to make your feet stick to it"

Anko saw uncomprehending looks on two genins' faces. Grumbling she demonstrated.

"There, see? You just gather chakra in your feet and walk up. Just make sure you don't use too much or too little. I'll be back later so make sure you stay at it"

Leaving her genin to fend for themselves Anko rushed off to the academy. Upon arriving she remembered Iruka was at the mission desk and dashed over to it.

"Anko?! What are you doing here?"

"You and I have something to talk about!"

"No wai-"

Grabbing the surprised chunin Anko left the same way she entered; albeit from a different window. The Hokage sighed and called another chunin to go get replacement windows.

'_What is that girl's problem with windows anyway?'_

Anko stopped on a roof top and shoved Iruka against a wall.

"Anko! We can't here! It's-"

"Just what the hell do you teach in that damn academy anyway!?"

"A-huh?"

"They don't even know how to do the tree climbing exercise! That's the most basic control exercise I know!"

"T-that is I… I just teach, I don't set the curriculum"

Still irritated Anko growled. The shinobi academy curriculum was set by the council and approved by the Hokage. Knowing that the council wouldn't listen to her and the Sandime was too busy her anger level dropped, slight depression taking its place. Deciding not to let it bother her she perked up.

"HA! So what? I'll just train my genin even harder than before! Now that that's out of the way, let's fuck!"

"HUH!?"

That said Anko again dragged Iruka off. Only this time it was to his apartment.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

"Uh… so how long did Anko-sensei say we had to do this?"

"She said until she came back, Naruto-kun"

"Dammit! I bet she's off screwing Iruka-sensei!"

Hinata blushed at the accusation. Naruto continued to rant about Anko ditching them while charging up his tree. Hinata was walking on hers as well, pacing top to bottom trying unsuccessfully to get Naruto to stop swearing.

'_That pisses me off! I have great control! Why is it so effortless for her?!'_

Truth be told Ino got nearly halfway to the top in her first attempt an hour ago. Even now she was routinely getting past the two-thirds mark. A sudden increase in the amount and volume of swearing heralded Naruto's latest crash landing.

"Goddamn shit fricken hell!!"

"Naruto-kun! You shouldn't use such language!"

Ino groaned. Surely the other genin teams weren't having this much trouble.

zzzzzzzzzzz

Meanwhile with team seven was stuck waiting at their usual spot. Kakashi had yet to show up.

"Man Akamaru, you still don't smell him? Just how long is that Kakashi-sensei gonna make us wait?"

"We should bring this up with him or maybe complain to the Hokage. What do you think Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn"

zzzzzzzzz

Team nine was busy at work doing… well not much. They had finished their mission and their sensei Asuma told them to train themselves. So Shikamaru was on his back, gazing at the clouds, Chouji was snaking on his chips and Shino sat there motionless.

'_This is my kinda team'_

'_Alright barbeque, my favorite!'_

'……_who flung poo?'_

zzzzzzzzz

"If there is any justice in the world, someone kill me"

Tenten wholeheartedly agreed with Neji. Bad enough that Lee emulated Gai-sensei before, but now…this was just painful.

"Yosh! Such youth you possess! Lee-kun, you have made your sensei proud!"

"Thank you, Gai-sensei! Your new training is most effective!"

She didn't know exactly what had sparked this change, but as soon as she found out what it was she would make sure it never happened again. The powder-blue polyester leisure suit coupled with what had to be the worst smelling cologne ever produced… if this was supposed to be for that rookie he had a crush on, she felt sorry for her.

Meibatsu retribution

Mendokusei troublesome


	8. Chapter 8

Anko stretched. Seeing Iruka still asleep next to her she got up and walked to the kitchen. She was halfway through making breakfast before she realized what she was doing.

"What the hell? When did I get so domestic?"

Hearing a noise she turned around and watched Iruka stumble to the bathroom half asleep reminded her.

"Oh yeah. _That's_ when"

She giggled and returned to her cooking. She couldn't wait for Iruka to realize they were both still naked, minus the apron she was wearing.

zzzzzzzz

Later that day team eight was meeting at the dango stand to await their sensei. This time Ino was the one being amused by her teammates. Hinata had taken it upon herself to teach Naruto more manners and today's lesson was on dining etiquette.

"Now Naruto-kun, you have to remember that in a formal eating environment you have to pace yourself and not eat very fast"

"Huh? Why would I do that? Aren't you supposed to eat fast?"

"No Naruto-kun. I said in a _formal_ setting. A formal setting is when you want to impress people by showing off your manners. Now practice with the tea. You slowly lift up the cup…"

Ino happily munched on her dango as she watched. Naruto roughly grabbed the cup with one hand only to have Hinata chide him and reposition his hands so that both were on the cup.

'_Oh man that totally lost look on his face is priceless! He's so clueless! And ultra-shy Hinata has gone into lecture mode, kinda like Iruka-sensei does. I wonder…'_ "Hey Hinata, is teaching Naruto just an excuse to hold his hands?"

"Eeep!"

Hinata instantly blushed and snapped her hands back. Ino laughed at the sight; and poor Naruto was just confused.

"So I'm supposed to jump back if people touch me?"

"N-no Naruto-kun! I-it's just I was-"

Anko burst in, announcing herself with an order for dango to go. She plunked down near her students. Naruto snickered at her, and Ino and Hinata shared giggles.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"You're wearing Iruka-sensei's boxers!"

"Huh? No wa- Eeep!"

It was a rare sight indeed, to see the infamous kunoichi flush with embarrassment. Even more so because she had somehow mistaken her skirt with her boyfriend's boxers. Naruto laughed louder and earned himself a whack on the head. The still reddened Anko skipped off to the restroom for a quick change. She returned in a standard Konoha uniform, much to Ino's surprise.

"When did you get that Anko-sensei?"

"This? All shinobi in the village chunin and up have one. It's the basic service outfit"

"But you never wore that before!"

"It's not my style. Anyway it's time to get today's mission"

Anko received her order from the waitress and trudged her way to the mission desk, followed by her genin. On the plus side, seeing the Hokage's shocked face as she came in would be quite funny.

zzzzzzzzz

'_There! The poo flinger!!'_

Shino bent down to collect the rare dung beetle specimen. Chouji and Shikamaru were leaning against a tree.

"Mendokusei. Asuma-sensei's late"

"Maybe he just got caught up on something. No big deal"

"I bet he just ditched us for some troublesome reason"

zzzzzzzzz

Asuma sneezed loudly. He rubbed his nose.

"Someone must be taking about me"

"Asuma, you didn't have any pressing matters for the next little while, did you?"

"Nope. Nothing at all Kurenai"

As the two returned to particular activities the current rating will not permit me to tell you about he sneezed again.

"Are you coming down with something?"

"No no, just on you"

zzzzzzzzz

At a certain bridge at a certain training field a certain team was waiting an uncertain amount of time for their instructor to show up.

"Sorry I'm late, got lost on the rod of life"

"LIAR! Y- hey, what'da mean 'rod of life'?"

"Nothing! Nothing. You need to clean your ears out more often Kiba. Come on now, time to get our mission for the day!"

Kakashi quickly turned around; hiding his expression, what little of it could be seen. Sakura thought about it and quickly made the connection. A smile spread on her face.

"So was that a Freudian slip, Kakashi-sensei?"

"What? No! Now come on we have a mission to do!"

The rest of the day Sakura gave Kakashi strange looks out the corner of her eye.

zzzzzzzz

A day in the life of one Umino Iruka was to some a harrowing experience. Though it was true that for the next two months he had no academy students to deal with he still worked the mission desk, where all his former students came to collect missions. Some of his older students who have had experience as genin just said hi and went about their business. His fellow chunin and the jonin that came by similarly kept a professional atmosphere, despite the fact that they ran the risk of not coming back from their higher difficulty missions.

"Hey there Iru-kun!"

"Ah, hello Anko. You and-eh? Why'd you change into that?"

Anko blushed, reminded why she was in the standard service uniform. Although it was funny to see the shocked look on the Hokage's face, as she predicted.

"Nevermind. I need a short D-ranker for my genin"

"Right. Well there's returning Lady Shijimi's cat again and …"

"We'll take it. Come on gaki, we gotta get through the mission fast so we can get back to your training"

With that team eight left, heralding the arrival of team seven. Kakashi was looking quite flustered, and Sakura was looking at him in a strange fashion. Iruka puzzled over what it could be. Nevertheless he gave them their mission and sent them on their way. It was much later, far past noon when Asuma and his team came in. The Hokage leveled a knowing look at his son, curious to why he was so late and having a suspicion.

"So Asuma. And why are you so late my son?"

"Ah well Oyaji-er Hokage-sama I was busy with a.. helping out a fellow shinobi with something and-"

"He was with a jonin, Yuhi Kurenai, for the better part of today"

Asuma paled and looked at his most impassive team member. Shino adjusted his shades and spoke again.

"Asuma-sensei had decided that copulation was more important than our training and missions"

"Oho! It seems that you have been neglecting your students again son. I thought we had a talk about that?"

"Er well I ah…"

Shikamaru and Chouji laughed at the spot their sensei was in. Shino was smirking as well, but no one knew that.

zzzzzz

Iruka's day ended with him walking back to his apartment. Naruto was with him, recounting the tale of Hinata teaching him manners for formal dinners.

"Yeah, there's all these weird rules, and other random crap like that. I mean, who wants to show off at a meal? What happened to wanting to eat?"

"Ha ha. Well Naruto, sometimes it is important to show good manners like that so others can see you have restraint; a good thing for a leader to possess"

"Really? Huh. Guess I might need that after all. Maybe I should ask Hinata to teach me more of that stuff"

Upon arriving at his apartment he was welcomed by the sight of Anko waiting for him.

"Hey you two. I got dinner ready so come on in!"

"Thanks Anko. You really do spoil us"

"Nah. Just you lover-boy"

Anko gave the scarred chunin a healthy smack on the bottom, earning a yelp from him. As Naruto laughed at the exchange Iruka tried in vain to get him to stop. But being molested by a girl totally undermines any attempt at being an authority figure.

zzzzzzzzz

oyaji – old man, pops, generic term for older man that isn't old enough to be referred to as grampa or something similar; rude way to refer to your own father


	9. Chapter 9

"Tetsuyuubi!!"

"Shugo Hakke: Rokujoyonshou!"

Naruto's chakra gloved hand slammed into Hinata's impenetrable defense. It remained in place, the slicing ribbons of chakra proving to be its equal in power. Anko smiled.

"Alright you two, knock it off. Though that was some damn good work. You should be proud of yourselves"

Naruto and Hinata ceased their jutsu. They smiled and congratulated each other, Hinata blushing profusely. Ino hung her head and sighed.

'_I feel so useless. They even made their own jutsu! What do I have?' _

Anko picked up on her other student's mood. She motioned for Naruto and Hinata to go a bit further down the training field so she could talk to Ino alone.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"It's just that… I mean Naruto's so powerful and Hinata isn't that far behind him. My taijutsu sucks compared to them and with ninjutsu I only know my family's Shintenshin and the Shunshin you taught us!"

"It that all you're worried about? Ha ha! What do you think we're training for?"

"But I-"

"No buts! Come on, what you need is a new outlook on life! And I know just the place to find it in!"

"Wait wha-"

Before Ino could say anything she was dragged off by a wickedly grinning Anko. Left to their own devices Naruto and Hinata kept at their training. Until Hinata felt like cuddling.

zzzzzzzzzz

Anko dragged her reluctant student into her favorite equipment shop.

"Now you remember yesterday right? How practically no one could identify me?"

"Yes, but how-"

"That's what you're doing here. Getting the right look. In my service uniform I look like just another run of the mill kunoichi. In my usual outfit I look sexy and dangerous; giving me an edge with intimidation. After you chose a new outfit we'll-"

"But new clothes won't make me stronger!!"

"Oh come on you of all people should know what they can do. Didn't you ever feel prettier simply from putting on a new dress?"

"Well yeah, doesn't everybody?"

"… Get the connection yet?"

"Ah… if I dress pretty I feel pretty? How does-Oh you want me to dress dangerous, like you?"

"Bout time you got it. Now let's get changed"

Anko pushed her student past the clothing racks grabbing a few items here and there. She shoved the items into Ino's hands and shut her in the dressing room.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Sakura, what are you writing?"

"Huh? Nothing!"

Kiba was unconvinced. Once again team seven was awaiting their eternally late sensei but today instead of pestering the emo queen Sasuke, Sakura was furiously writing in a notebook. Akamaru jumped into Sakura's arms, causing her to dislodge her notebook, which was quickly snapped up by Kiba.

"NO! Give that back!!"

"Nya ha! I'm gonna read it first!"

Kiba read the first few lines and discovered that it was a story. A few more and he saw it had Kakashi as a character. Another line down…

"OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE SICK YOU KNOW THAT!!!?? Oh man I think I'm gonna hurl…"

"How dare you read my private yaoi fanfics!!"

The scene the Kakashi arrived on was a greenfaced Uchiha warily eyeing a fuming Sakura as she fussed over a notebook, and the bloodied heap that was once Kiba with a whimpering Akamaru cowering behind him.

"So… who's ready for a fun mission picking vegetables?"

"I'm ready Kakashi-sensei!"

Sakura's now suddenly perky voice elicited a pained groan from the remains of Kiba and a slight cringe from Sasuke. Kakashi sweatdropped.

'_I'm really starting to worry about this team'_

zzzzzzzzz

Asuma silently seethed. He was running his team through their paces with calisthenics, chakra control, and jutsu practice. He saw Shikamaru collapse.

"Tch. Take a five minute break then start again from the top"

Chouji and Shino joined Shikamaru.

"Mendokusei… he's running us ragged"

"At least we're training now, that's an improvement"

"Says you Chouji"

Shino with agreed with Chouji but also took the opportunity to let his teammates know what he just learned from one of his kikaichu.

"It would seem that we are not alone in our suffering"

Back at a bench Asuma was smoking up a storm.

"He can't ground me! I'm a grown man! Kuso Oyaji…"

zzzzzzzzzz

Ino strutted her way to the mission desk. Anko had already gone to collect Naruto and Hinata from their training ground, so it was just her for now. She turned a few heads and got quite a few stares with her new look.

'_Hey, this isn't so bad. I do feel a bit more like a kunoichi should'_

She had paired kunai holsters oh her thighs, dark leggings, and criss-crossed belts making an 'x' over her waist; they shared a skull where they crossed. Her skirt had been replaced with shorts so short they might be mistaken for bloomers; they even had a little skull embroidered on the small back pocket on the right side. Her arms now sported gloves that went from the base of her middle fingers all the way up to her armpits, leaving her shoulders exposed. Her top was changed out for one that hugged her body tightly but still had a large patch of exposed skin on her upper chest and an attention grabbing skull embroidered right between her breasts. Her hair was still in her usual ponytail but the tie now had a pair of skull decorations on it. Even her boots had tiny skulls for the buckles. Her hitai-ate was moved from her waist to around her forehead. She adjusted it self-consciously, worried what her team might think. Also lingering in the back of her mind was the opinion of other people important to her.

'_Oh god, what will Daddy think!? And Mom?! This might not have been such a good idea after all…'_

zzzzzzzzzzz

Ino reached the mission desk the same time Anko, Naruto and slightly annoyed Hinata arrived. They gave Ino's new look the once over.

"So, going with black and skulls instead of purple and bandages?"

"Can it Naruto. I only did this because Anko-sensei told me to"

Anko snorted and Hinata turned a very bright shade of red when Naruto wondered aloud what she would look like in shorts. Ino had a giggle at that. The Hokage smiled as they came up to him.

"So, team eight. Ready for another mission today?"

"Actually today I'm requesting a C rank mission"

"Are you sure Anko? They are still just fresh genin"

"Yeah yeah, I know that. But I've been training them hard; I now they can handle this"

"Very well. I have an escort mission available. Send in Tazuna"

A door opened revealing a drunk-looking old man holding a bottle. He cast a bearly eye over team eight.

"Those brats supposed to protect me? And a woman to boot. I said I ne-"

Tazuna suddenly found himself pinned to the wall upside down by snakes.

"You had better be glad I'm in a good mood today, or I would have gutted you like a fish, client or no client. My team can handle this mission no problem. Just make sure you don't piss us off"

Anko recalled her snakes and let Tazuna slump to the floor. She then commanded her team to be ready to leave within the hour and to meet at the main gate before leaving. Her team followed, each going ther own ways. The Hokage gave an apologetic smile to Tazuna.

"Sorry. She tends to be a bit enthusiastic at times. You have my word though that she and her team are fully able to give you all the protection you need on your return to Nami no kuni"

zzzzzzzzzzz

Naruto quickly dropped in at Iruka's apartment and picked up his gear for the mission. Iruka was there, just getting done with some paperwork.

"What are you packing up for?"

"We got a C rank mission! Anko-sensei says we're ready"

Iruka nearly fell over in surprise.

"Is she crazy!? You guys couldn't possibly be-"

"So you doubt me too Iru-kun?"

Iruka turned to her unexpected entrance.

"Anko! I mean look Anko, I know you've been training them hard but-"

"No buts! They're my team. I know them better than you do. I wouldn't recommend them for this if they weren't ready"

"But Anko, they-"

She silenced him with a finger on his lips.

"It'll be fine. It's just protection from bandits at most. They can do this"

Anko and Naruto left for the main gate. Ino was already there, looking around nervously.

"Hey Ino, what's wrong?"

"Anko-sensei? It's well… I'm not sure what my parents would feel about my new outfit"

"Just tell 'em to deal with it"

"I'm being serious here Anko-sensei!"

zzzzzzzzzzz

Hinata was just finishing up packing her gear for the mission.

"So your first C rank mission. I hope you do well Hinata"

"I will Chichuie"

Hinata was then glomped from behind.

"Nee-chan!! Take me!!"

"Hanabi-chan! I have to go now!"

"But I wanna go too!"

"This isn't a camping trip; this is a serious mission. I can't bring you along"

"But-but I wanna hang out with Anko-sensei too!!!"

Hiashi hung his head. He reached down and snatched Hanabi up and sent Hinata on her way. Hanabi kept loudly proclaiming her desire to play with Anko and struggling against her father's grip.

'_Thank god it's only a short time until I can send her to the academy. That should keep her occupied'_

zzzzzzzzzz

Kuso Oyaji – shitty old man

Nami no kuni – Wave country

Chichuie – father; very formal

jutsu list

Tetsuyuubi – iron finger; chakra coats the hand creating a armored glove that can resist attacks, a defensive jutsu that can be used to disrupt other jutsu or attack on its own (yes this is a total rip-off of the Shining Finger from Mobile Fighter G Gundam)

Shugo Hakke: Rokujoyonshou – Protection of the eight trigrams: sixty four hands; Hinata extends narrow beams of chakra that leave trails she connects into an absolute defense around herself

Shintenshin – Mind body switch; implants users consciousness in another person's body, suppressing the targets consciousness temporarily

Shunshin – body flicker; short range teleportation usually used for surprising entrances and/or exits


	10. Chapter 10

Team eight proudly marched toward Wave country. Tazuna wisely kept silent. As the group approached a puddle Naruto grinned. He reached into his equipment pouch and pulled out a small object. Ino looked over to him.

"What are you doing?"

"Bein' bad"

That said the youth tossed the now smoking bauble into the puddle. Not a second later two Kiri nin in exited the puddle as it exploded. They raised their bladed chain and swarmed Naruto. Snapping into action Hinata lunged at one while Ino threw shuriken at the other. The Kiri nin in evaded the attacks and moved to attack the girls but were stopped short. Naruto had activated his Tetsuyuubi on each hand and grabbed the chain, yanking the Kiri nin in off their feet. This time the girls' attacks were not dodged. Anko smiled at her team as Tazuna tried to get his breathing back under control.

"Well, looks like you have some talking to do, okyakusan"

"Ah well I-"

"Squeal. Or I make you squeal"

Tazuna spilled everything. Gato. The bridge. The state of Wave country. Even the death of his son-in-law and the effect it had on his grandson. Anko thought hard about what to do.

'_Damn. I know they can handle up to chunin level opposition but this mission will see jonin level material pretty soon. Not that I can't handle some run of the mill jonin. I don't want to put them in too much danger but at the same time I don't want them pulled from their first real mission. Hmmmmm. Whatever. Iru-kun isn't going to like this but we'll keep going. If we run into something too tough to handle we'll call for back up; if not we don't'_

zzzzzzzzzz

Back in Konoha team seven was working diligently picking vegetables from their client's garden. It was not a hard task, nor did it take long. After a few minutes Sakura went up to Kakashi, who was slumped against a wall reading his Icha Icha Paradise.

"We're all done Kakashi-seme!"

"Righ-Wait! What was that?!"

"Kakashi-sensei"

"Ah… right. Well if we're all done let's go on back" _'Is my hearing going bad? I could have sworn I heard her say…nah must be my imagination'_

Team seven went on its merry way. As Kakashi wandered through Konoha he spotted Iruka and Kurenai sitting at a bench together.

"Well now isn't this comfy? Better not let Anko find out about this or she'll kill you"

Kurenai rolled her eyes at the insinuation and Iruka signed in exasperation.

"Kakashi, we're just going over next terms genjutsu tests"

"Fine fine, spoilsport. So where is Anko anyway? Taking her team out on a mission?"

"Yeah. A C rank. She assured me they're ready but-"

"You get too attached to your students. You can't baby them forever"

Kurenai snorted.

"But you can't distance yourself too much right? Do you actually spend any time teaching your students?"

"I take offense to that. I do train them. But they have a long way to go before they get a C rank mission. They just don't synch up that well. Anywho I have a mission report to turn in. Later"

zzzzzzzz

Asuma tossed down the fourth empty pack of cigarettes in under an hour. He was trying to pace himself and not light the whole pack at once.

"Come on you lay-a-bouts! Get moving or else!"

His team suppressed a groan as they continued unloading the client's wagons. Too bad for them the client was a potter and they were hauling large amounts of charcoal and clay. Putting down one particularly heavy box Shikamaru sighed.

"Mendokusei"

"Cheer up; only half a wagon to go"

"You said that two halves ago"

Shino dropped another box next to Shikamaru's.

"He is only grounded for two weeks. Let us hope he cools off by then or at least goes back to spending more time with Kurenai-san"

Asuma stomped over.

"It isn't break time ladies! Get back to work!"

zzzzzzz

Later that day Yugao sat across from Kurenai at a table in a small restaurant. Her friend looked especially down today.

"Kurenai? Is everything ok?"

"You know this is my usual date night with Asuma. Funny isn't it?"

"You two didn't break up did you?"

"No! But after Asuma ditched his team for a little 'fun' he was grounded by the Hokage"

"What? Seriously?"

"Oh god, it's like I'm fourteen again. And where the hell's the damn waiter?!"

Yugao hid a smirk.

'_Glad my boyfriend doesn't live with his parents'_

zzzzzzz

Team eight, plus Tazuna, were quiet as the boat passed under the incomplete bridge. They arrived on the shore and Tazuna thanked the boatman as he sped off.

"Well here we are. It isn't too far to my house"

The group set out, on the lookout for dangers. Trouble soon found them.

"I want the old man"

"Even if you swing that way we can't let him go. Team, defend Tazuna, I'll take this guy"

"Oh will you now? Come and try it. Kirigakure no jutsu"

A thick fog enveloped the area, blocking all sight. Hinata used this chance to activate her byakugan. She and Naruto found Zabuza at the same time.

""There!!""

The water clone Zabuza sent into the midst of the genin was dispelled in an instant. The real Zabuza was shocked enough for Anko to target him. The Kiri nin barely dodged the razor sharp steel. Anko pulled out more knives.

"Running away? I thought the big bad 'Demon of the Mist' was better than that"

"Silence woman. I'll show you how bad the demon can be! Suiryudan no jutsu!"

Zabuza blazed through the many hand seals needed for his jutsu; sending a dragon of water straight at Tazuna. Team eight responded quickly, Naruto pulling Tazuna out of the way while Hinata and Ino peppered the dragon with exploding tag laced kunai. Zabuza's irritation grew as he saw his jutsu blasted into oblivion with no damage done to the bridge builder.

"Senei Jashu!"

Substituting himself with a water clone Zabuza found himself with Anko bearing down on him. She slashed and stabbed at him with kunai and the occasional snake. To his credit he received few scratches, but made none of his own. He took a gamble and let Anko stab him in the arm, disabling it, so he could get an opening on her. Taken by surprise Anko was knocked backwards. Before Zabuza could continue his assault twin senbon pierced his neck, killing him instantly.

"I thank you for your assistance in catching this criminal"

"Oh, oi nin? Not like you guys to leave the fighting to others"

"We use what we can. I you'll excuse me, I must take the body-"

The hunter nin dodged the hastily thrown kunai.

"Get real; hunter nin get rid of the body on site. Faker"

Seeing the jig was up the hunter nin quickly made a mirror of ice between him and Anko, then grabbed Zabuza and disappeared.

"Damn. They got away"

Before they could say anything Anko ordered her team to double time it to Tazuna's place to plan for a counter attack.

zzzzzzzzz

okyakusan – customer, client or the like

seme – dominant in gay relationship; as opposed to uke, the submissive

oi nin – hunter nin

Kirigakure – hidden mist; throws up a fog to blind anyone standing in it

Suiryudan – water dragon bullet; shoots a dragon made of water


	11. Chapter 11

"Shit"

Anko was not having a good day. Because she had too many variables to contend with she sent for reinforcement. But all she could do right now was to wait. She couldn't leave her students alone to hunt for Gatou; there was too big a possibility of that little ratfink sending his cronies to swarm Tazuna now that he knew Zabuza had failed. And of course he couldn't let her students do the hunting. They weren't ready for that yet.

"Ain't life just peachy?"

zzzzzzzzzzzzz

The message hawk Anko sent soon arrived at the Konoha receiving station. The word was sent out to the mission desk for an A rank rescue/reinforcement mission. A team was assembled and left within the hour.

zzzzzzzzzz

Back at Tazuna's house both Ino and Hinata were busy holding back Anko and Naruto. Inari's comments on their inevitable failure were apparently not very well appreciated.

"You little shit! Why don't you drop your pair and say that again!"

"Anko-sensei! You can't kill him!"

"Then I'll just maim him a little!"

"Mou! A little help here!"

Hinata just looked at Naruto with accusing eyes.

"But he said-"

"…"

"And I-"

"…"

"I promise I won't harm him"

"That's better. You shouldn't be so quick to anger, Naruto-kun"

"I'm sorry" _'That he's a whiny little bitch with an attitude problem'_

In an attempt to diffuse the situation Tsunami made everyone tea.

zzzzzzzzzzz

The next day the support team form Konoha arrived.

"Iru-kun?! They sent you?"

"Don't 'Iru-kun' me! I told you your team wasn't ready for-"

"Oh shut up! They are more than ready for a C rank mission! How was I supposed to know it would turn into an A rank? Am I psychic now?"

"That's not what I said! I-"

"You implied it! You think I'm no good as a sensei! Dammit I thought you loved me!"

"I do it just-"

"'Just'? Just what!? There's someone else isn't there? You're cheating on me! You bastard!"

"N-no I-"

"I was warned about men like you! You were just using me for my body weren't you? Admit it!"

Kotestu and Izumo sighed. Choosing to ignore the lover's spat they turned to the genin.

"So what's the situation?"

"We were ambushed by Momochi Zabuza and his accomplice then came here. Gatou, the guy who's out for the client's head, has yet to make an obvious move so far"

Nodding to Ino's summation they decided to move further away from the hysterical Anko and likely-to-get-mauled Iruka for personal safety's sake.

zzzzzzzzz

"Okay, well now that we're here we can start planning our next move"

"Anko's currently the strongest here so we'll need her on the primary assault team; you and me can join her and leave Iruka here with the genin"

"That'll be good. We have an extra com set so we can leave it here in case of emergencies"

Naruto was stuck with a dumb expression on his face. He forgot which one was which. Ino never knew to start with, same as Hinata. Then Naruto caught on to something.

"Hey! You ain't takin' me with you?"

"No genin. You stay here"

"Fuck that! I wanna be part of the action!"

"You're still too green. This is now a A rank mission; you've only been cleared for C ranks"

"Dammit! I-"

"OH GOD YES!! RIGHT THERE!!!"

All eyes point to the door; where Iruka and Anko were still outside, alone. Someone gulped nervously. Anko started yelling again and Tsunami quickly clamped her hands over Inari's ears. She turned to her father.

"Do something!"

"What am I supposed to do?!"

"I don't know! Something!"

Amidst the vociferous Anko's outcries Naruto spoke up.

"You won't be able to do anything for a few hours"

Ino took an incredulous look at her teammate.

"And how would you know?"

"I live with Iruka-sensei, remember? They end up doing this whenever they have a fight. Freaked me out the first time"

Hinata was immediately filled with worry over Naruto; she didn't think it would be good for her and Naruto's possibly-might-happen sex life if he was traumatized by the activity.

"I didn't think anybody could bend that way… how Iruka-sensei stood up teaching the next day I'll never figure out…"

The author leaves you to ponder that mental image for a while.

Okay enough pondering. I have a story to finish here. Eventually the… noise … died down. Seeing as no one was brave enough to go check on them it was decided that letting Anko and Iruka in on the plan could wait until the morning. When hopefully they would not be in a compromising position.

zzzzzzz

Anko blearily came too. Realizing her and Iruka's nudity she quickly snatched up their clothes and attempted to cover herself and her lover.

'_Now this is embarrassing. I had no idea outdoor sex was that good. Hope the others weren't watching'_

A light moan from Iruka let Anko know he was awake.

"Morning Iru-kun"

"Eh? Anko? Wah..oh snap we're-"

"Relax dear. Just put your clothes back on"

"I can't believe we just did that"

"Don't be such a downer; it was a lot of fun. We should do it again sometime"

Iruka shook his head in a dismayed manner. His girlfriend was truly incorrigible. The pair quickly got dressed and entered Tazuna's house. There they were let in on the attack plan. With no small amount of awkward glances and odd stares. Anko, Kotestu and Izumo left for their part of the mission and Iruka stayed behind with the genin.

zzzzzzzzz

Naruto sulked. He wanted to go out and be part of the mission.

"Naruto, you don't need to sulk like that. You'll get your chance soon enough"

Naruto turned a disbelieving glare at Iruka. Iruka started to start a spiel about how they were still young and had many years of missions ahead of them.

"Naruto-kun, why don't you come with me for a bit? We can work on your etiquette some more"

"Aw man. I really don't want to. But I do need it"

"Come on. We can do it outside on the pier"

Naruto got up and followed Hinata. Iruka was awestruck.

"You mean if I wanted him to do something, all I had to do was get Hinata to tell him to do it?"

Ino giggled at the now distraught instructor. Inari ignored Iruka's mood and walked right up to him.

"So what were you and that scary lady doing in the yard yesterday? Mom wouldn't let me listen"

"INARI!! Don't ask such things!"

"But-"

"You'll learn when you're older and that's final!"

Tazuna chocked back a snicker. Going to Konoha was the best decision he'd made in a long time.

zzzzzzz


	12. Chapter 12

Zabuza was awoken by his young protégé.

"Dammit what now?"

"Zabuza-san, we must leave this place now"

"Oi nin? They shouldn't have caught up yet"

"Iie. Konoha nin. The team we encountered had received backup"

"So what. I can deal with all of them"

"Not a day after coming out of a near death state and with a still injured arm. It is best we disappear"

As much as Zabuza hated to admit it, Haku was right. With things as they were he could barely move. Gruffly he nodded. The corrupt businessman died before he had a chance to call them for help.

zzzzzzzz

With the death of Gatou it seemed a huge weight had been lifted from the shoulders of Nami no Kuni. The bridge was completed and the Konoha shinobi were set to leave. The grateful people of Wave named the bridge in honor of their saviors, the Great Leaf Bridge. With great fanfare the shinobi start their trek back home. Despite it all Naruto felt somewhat unsatisfied.

"Man. I wanted to fight. This sucks balls"

"Naruto-kun, just because we didn't have much to do this mission doesn't mean that we won't in the next"

Naruto made a slight grumbling noise as Hinata admonished him. Anko turned to her team.

"Don't worry. We'll get a real C rank mission when we get back"

Ino wasn't too interested in another mission so soon, but was wise to hold back her comment. No sense in antagonizing her sensei without a very good reason. Iruka cleared his throat.

"Anko-chan, do you have to ride on my back the whole way back to Konoha?"

"Aw, do you not like holding me close Iru-kun?"

Anko pressed her chest harder into the school teacher's back, causing him to blush. The blush deepened when she began to whisper dirty nothings into his ear. Kotetsu and Izumo shared a thought.

'_Damn lucky bastard'_

zzzzzzz

Once the group got back to Konoha the adults went off to give their reports to the Hokage the genin were left to their own devices. Hinata was quick to snatch Naruto and vanish to parts unknown. Ino sighed.

"Dammit. I need a boyfriend"

That being said she still liked the looks she was drawing on her walk back home. She decided to take the scenic route just to enjoy them more. On her way she passed team nine as they were resting from their last training session. Ino decided to call out to them like Anko had shown her.

"Hey boys! How's life treating you?"

The dulcet tones drew their attention immediately. They even blinked in unison. Chouji found his voice first.

"Whoa, Ino what happened to you?"

"I bear a similar curiosity"

Ino giggled and twirled around for them.

"Anko-sensei took me shopping. Like the result?"

Ino reveled in the appreciative nods from team nine. She just had to go try this out on team seven.

"Well I can see you're all really busy, so I must be going"

Ino turned to leave and after a few steps blew them a kiss over her shoulder. Putting a little extra hip in her step Ino sauntered off. Chouji again broke the silence.

"Ino's always been pretty, but wow!"

"Duly noted. But it seems our comrade is suffering from the effects of Law # 40"

"Wha? Law # 40?"

Shino looked at Shikamaru, as did Chouji. Shikamaru, who had been silent do far, spoke up.

"What?"

Chouji sagely nodded.

"Ah, now I get it"

Shikamaru was confused. True he was a bit stunned by Ino's new look, but-

)drip(

"Mendokusei"

It was then his teammates started to laugh at him.

'_I got a nosebleed because of INO! Oh sweet merciful God please do not let her find out about this!!'_

zzzzzzzzzzz

Unfortunately for him Ino did know.

'_I can't believe this! I made Shikamaru react like that! I must really be hot stuff in this get up. Now I need to find Sasuke! I bet he'll have a fun reaction to my new clothes. And I can make Sakura jealous too!'_

With even more spring in her step than should be possible Ino made her way to team seven's usual training field.

zzzzzzz

Hinata was in heaven. She had Naruto in the clothing store with her and he was trying on all the clothes she suggested. The store clerks were less enthused about their newest customer but wouldn't dare speak against the Hyuga heiress. Not unless they wanted to invite her clan's wrath.

"That looks very good on you Naruto-kun"

"Heh heh. I clean up pretty good eh?"

Hinata nodded serenely but was drooling on the inside. Formal wear looked so good on her Naruto. There had to be some way to make him wear it more often.

'_Maybe I should invite him over for a formal dinner.. his etiquette lessons have been going quite well…'_

Of course that would only lead to more dinners and parties… and everyone knew you could never wear the same outfit twice to such events. Hinata's smile brightened. Naruto felt a strange chill in the air, but couldn't figure out what it was.

'_I wonder why Hinata's making me try on all these clothes. Could she be planning something? Nah, of course not'_

The young Hyuga sneezed cutely.

zzzzzzz

It was another lazy wait for their teacher for team seven. Meaning of course Sakura was busy writing in her notebook, Sasuke was scowling at nothing in particular, and Kiba was playing with Akamaru. Oddly tranquil scene though it was, Ino could hardly wait to shatter it.

"Hiiiii! I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

Ino was again treated to having all eyes focus on her. Sadly Sasuke took one glance and went back to scowling. The blonde was disappointed.

'_What a frigid guy… I bet I could be naked and get the same reaction out of him'_

"Ish ahh Inuo waff ooo doain ear?"

"Hmm? Gomen Kiba, you'll have to stop drooling for me to understand what you said" _'Now that's more like it'_

Akamaru whined as Kiba dried his mouth with his sleeve. Sakura leveled a glare at her sometime friend.

"Just what are you here for Ino-pig?"

"Oh nothing much. Just wanted to see how you were all doing; my team finished up a C rank mission so we have a bit of down time before the next one"

Sasuke clenched his hands in frustration.

'_How dare he! I will not let that failure to surpass me!!'_

"Dude! Seriously? Man that is so unfair!"

Kiba theatrically threw his hands in the air. Ino giggled.

"It isn't that much of a big deal. Anko-sensei trains us very hard and we have great teamwork . We even had some time to go shopping!"

Sakura's pencil snapped in her grip.

"Yeah so what? You went and got a slutty getup and stuffed your bra. That doesn't mean that-"

"Oh Sakura you silly; the top isn't stuffed it's self-supporting"

Sakura dropped her notebook, shock evident on her face. Kiba managed to mumble a single phrase before losing consciousness.

"n-no bra"

Ino reveled in Sakura's face, and Kiba's reaction was quite entertaining. Of course Sasuke was too busy brooding to even hear the previous conversation. Ino bent down and scooped up Sakura's notebook.

"Oh and what is this here? Wait is that a 'fujoshi life' sticker?"

Sakura snatched the notebook back in the blink of an eye. She cradled it protectively against her chest. Ino smirked.

"Oh my my my my my. Sakura you poor girl. Are the men in your life not paying you enough attention?"

"Sh-shut up Ino-pig! It's none of your business!"

"Oh I think it is. You should really try to get out more. Maybe come out with me and Anko-sensei?"

"I'm fine on my own!"

"If you say so. Later"

Ino sauntered off and soon Kakashi arrived. He found his team in a situation very different than he had become used to. Kiba was out cold but oddly holding his hands out in a squeezing motion, Akamaru was napping, and Sakura was loudly describing in detail just why she was a fully fledged woman and had no trouble attracting men to Sasuke who was ignoring her.

'_Well at least one of them is consistent…'_

tttttttt

fujoshi – Japanese for yaoi fangirl


	13. Chapter 13

Sarutobi sighed. All things considered it was a very favorable result to the mission but the paperwork that went into filing the reclassification for the original mission and the backup squad acquisition. It was enough to make your head spin.

"Now that you have delivered your reports you may go. Anko don't forget to come to the meeting of jonin sensei tonight. With the chunin exams only a week away we will need to choose our candidates"

Anko and Iruka left the Hokage's office at a sedate pace.

"I think they can handle the exams"

"Huh?!"

Anko turned to look at Iruka with disbelief.

"Iru-kun? Did you just say that-?"

"Yeah. I think your genin are ready for this. I don't like it; they're still too young in my opinion. But they deserve a shot"

"Thank you Iru-kun!"

Iruka landed on the ground courtesy of a glomp by Anko. Ignoring the fact they were still outside the happy kunoichi showered the chunin with kisses. Until someone interrupted them.

"Such disreputable behavior!"

"Stuff it you fuddy duddy!"

ttttttttt

Ino went through the front door of her family's flower shop.

"Tadaima!"

"Okaeri Ino-chan! How was y-YYYYY!!!!"

Inoichi's startling cry caused his wife to come storming in.

"What happened?! Inoichi what's wrong?!"

The jonin sputtered wordlessly and pointed to Ino. Ino felt a slight rise of panic as her mother carefully scrutinized her appearance.

"Nice job!"

Inoichi wailed as his wife sent an approving look and a thumbs up at Ino. The girl giggled.

"Thanks Kaa-san! Anko-sensei helped me pick it out. And you should have seen how the boys in teams seven and nine reacted!"

"Oh you have to tell me all about it over some tea. Dear, you stay here and mind the store. Oooo, my little girl is growing up!"

The two blondes dashed over to the tea room leaving Inoichi mostly comatose behind the flower shop counter, tears theatrically pouring down his face.

ttttttttt

Naruto and Hinata walked through the village, arm in arm. They had no real destination in mind nor did they see a need for one. Merely being with each other was enough for them. Much to the secret jealously of many. And some, not so secret. Tenten grumbled.

'_Damn their lucky. Why couldn't Neji be like that with me? I know I'm strong enough to get his notice and I am pretty, even if I say so myself. But how am I supposed to get through that attitude of his?'_

The weapon mistress sighed and returned to her shopping. Across the street another kunoichi was having similar thoughts.

'_They sure are a cute looking couple. I wish I could find somebody. But with Gaara around all the boys are scared off. I can't remember the last time I had a decent conversation with a boy that wasn't mission related'_

Temari turned back to her brother. Not noticing her pause he had walked on ahead. Growling she increased her pace to find him. She did so just in time to see him threaten a group of kids. Slightly irritated by her lack of a significant other and in no mood to deal with her brother's nonsense she drew her fan and smashed it over Kankuro's head. The children looked up at her fearfully. Temari grabbed Kankuro's collar and began to drag him off.

"Female prerogative"

As the kunoichi left there were stars of admiration in the eyes of Moegi.

"Kakkoii!"

And dread in the eyes of Udon and Konohamaru.

"I got a bad feeling about this"

"I **sniff** think you're right"

ttttttt

Naruto yawned. Hinata subtly elbowed him.

"What?"

"Am I boring you?"

"No! Not that! Nah it just that well…"

"Well?"

"We're just sitting here. Wasn't this supposed to be about-"

"Naruto-kun!"

"Sorry"

Naruto pouted and looked away. Hinata leaned in and whispered in Naruto's ear.

"That's for later. Right now we're waiting for Chichue to show up"

Slightly mollified Naruto schooled his features to look more formal. Hinata silently cursed her father's busy schedule. She still didn't know what exactly it was that kept him occupied but wasn't entirely sure she wanted to.

'_At least we didn't run into Hanabi. Dealing with her is the last thing I need to do today'_

Hiashi soon entered. He sat before the pair in a regal manner.

"So this is your teammate. Is the third member also going to be joining us?"

"No Chichue. This is to arrange for Naruto-kun to officially meet the family as part of a formal setting"

Hiashi looked over Naruto. The blonde was still trying his best to not look bored. Hiashi carefully considered the prospect.

"So you think yourself worthy to be presented to the Hyuga clan?"

"Y-yes. I do believe that I am. Though I am not a shinobi who is well known I am still beginning my career and…um…"

Hiashi disguised a smirk as Hinata began to panic. After a few moments of letting the children sweat it out Hiashi spoke up.

"Perhaps it is best if you wait until another time for you to seek an audience with the family"

Hiashi stood up to leave, Hinata hanging her head in her hands. Naruto apologized to the girl quietly. Just before Hiashi exited he tossed one last comment over his shoulder.

"Perhaps after the chunin exam finals; I'm certain there will be a reason for festivities then. Hinata, you may bring him as a guest"

Hinata's face brightened as she thanked her father. Hiashi smiled as he left.

"Until then have the boy practice his lines some more"

Even though he couldn't see it, he knew what face his daughter had at that moment.

ttttt

Later that night the jonin instructors gathered to select candidates for the upcoming chunin exams. The Hokage surveyed the assembled instructors.

"We will begin with the new genin. Do the instructors have any they feel are suited for competition?"

Anko proudly stepped forward.

"All three of my genin are ready! They'll kick anybody's ass!"

A few snickers rang out. Anko turned angrily at the sources.

"Ahem. We are in a meeting here people"

Order was restored after none too few red eyes and one finger salutes.

"Any others?"

"My team's ready too. And no Oyaji, it isn't just an excuse"

"Very well son, I will take your word for it. That leaves only the third rookie genin team. Will you be submitting them as well Kakashi?"

Kakashi looked thoughtful for a moment.

"It is my professional opinion that my genin are not adequately prepared for the trials of the chunin exam"

Most noted that statement and didn't think twice. One however did.

"O-ho! My eternal rival, did you realize that I was allowing my genin to compete and are scared your team would not be able to hold pace? I would not blame you. My genin shall sweep the competition with their flames of youth!"

"Not exactly. You see Sasuke has what it takes and Kiba is not far behind, and even Sakura would be able to put in a good showing…"

Kakashi's head hung.

"But they really don't mesh as a group"

"Hm. Perhaps you could elaborate, my rival?"

Despite his pleas, eventually Kakashi had to explain just why his genin were not going to be submitted.

Maybe one day he can live it down. I wouldn't hold my breath.

ttttttttt

kakkoii – cool


	14. Chapter 14

Ino lounged as her team waited for their sensei to show up. She was unsubtly sucking a lollipop; often taking breaks to lick it and moan slightly. Hinata didn't really approve of such overt actions, but it was a lot of fun watching boys walk into things. Like the one who hit the bench and flipped over completely. Or the two that walked into each other, that was classic.

'_Good thing that doesn't work on Naruto-kun. At least when Ino does it' _

Hinata looked over to the orange clad boy to see him reading something intently. She looked closer to see that it was a piece of paper with a series of sentences written on it. Hinata sweatdropped.

'_Naruto-kun… Chichue didn't mean it literally'_

Anko burst in as usual and plunked down before her genin.

"Alright. If you don't know Konoha is hosting the chunin exams in six days. And I think you three are ready"

Anko displayed the three exam pamphlets.

"Sweet! Promotion time!"

"This is so cool! Thank you Anko-sensei!"

Hinata smiled and clutched her pamphlet closely. Naruto noticed this and put his arm around her. She snapped up at the contact.

"Naruto-kun?"

"You aren't worried are you?"

"Well a little yes, but mostly I'm happy that Anko-sensei thinks so highly of us. It means a lot to me"

"Well you don't have a thing to worry about. You kick all kinds of ass"

Hinata giggled and snuggled under Naruto's chin. He hugged her back and Ino and Anko stifled their snickers. It didn't last too long.

ttttttttttt

Asuma tossed his team their pamphlets. Then he took a drag that nearly consumed his entire cigarette.

"Those are for your passage into the exam. Don't embarrass yourselves"

"Real inspirational. I don't suppose you moonlight as a motivational speaker?"

"Funny. Just for that crack Shikamaru you and your teammates get to run extra laps today. NOW MOVE IT!!"

Groaning the trio start their run. But not before Shino whacked Shikamaru for his smart mouth. Chouji stumbled.

"Ugh. Why is it always running?"

"It's not as bad as those wagons were"

"Strength I can do; cardio not so much"

tttttttttttt

Kakashi sat on a branch watching his team. Sakura was furiously writing in her notebook, Sasuke was scowling again and Kiba was scratching his head with his foot. The jonin sighed.

'_How am I supposed to break it to them? All their friends are going to the chunin exams and they aren't. Maybe a nice trip to the sweet shop? Nah, they'll know something's up. New jutsu? Hmm. That might work. I think I go with that'_

Team seven quickly took notice of Kakashi as he landed near them.

"Kakashi-seme?! You came early!?"

"Ok I know I heard seme that time"

"Forget that why are you here so early?"

"Sakura, I think we need to talk about your Tourettes Syndrome. It's starting to be a problem"

Sasuke scoffed and kicked a stone.

"So out with it already. Why did you show up?"

"Alright. Well to put it bluntly you guys aren't going to the chunin exams"

"""WHAT!?"""

Before they could start up their individual arguments Kakashi silenced them.

"I know, I know, it seems unfair, but while you guys are ready for that level you just don't have what it takes to get through it; namely teamwork. You don't work well together. So to correct that…"

Kakashi pulled out a scroll from his vest and unfurled it. Three ninken appeared in front of the genin.

"We will be working with my ninken on a new jutsu; one that involves all three of you at the same time"

tttttttttt

The day of the first exam saw team eight easily get past the genjutsu trap. They waited in the main testing room with the other examinees.

"So how long do we have to wait for this to start?"

"Naruto-kun, the exact starting time is up to the discretion of the proctor"

"Rats. I wait waiting"

Hinata patted her boyfriend's shoulder comfortingly. Ino lazily stretched her arms over her head, collecting desire and ire from many. Team nine walked through the door catching Ino's eye.

"Hey boys! Long time no see"

Shikamaru instantly reddened when Ino winked at his team. He wasn't sure but he might have heard Shino snicker.

"Whatever"

A rush of air and smoke signaled the arrival of the proctors. Ibiki cleared his throat.

"You are all here to take part in the chunin exams. There are rules for this sort of thing and I expect you to follow them. If you do not, then your time here will be over. As I explain the rules you are to come up in an orderly fashion to collect tiles. These will determine the seating arrangement"

Ibiki watched the first few genin start to move before he began to speak.

"There will be no fighting, no killing, no questions. You have ten points on your tests. Every time you are caught cheating you are docked two points. Once you hit zero, it's over. Oh and by the way…"

Ibiki smirked as the last student picked up a tile and sat down.

"All three members of your squads have to pass. One fails, the whole team goes down. Your time starts now"

The genin furiously begin reading their tests. Naruto grumbled.

'_Oh joy. I can't understand any of these damn questions! Now what am I supposed to do?'_

Naruto looked around. Many other students were in the same spot as him but others had looks of confidence. Naruto peered over to his teammates. Hinata had her byakugan active and Ino was stretching and fluffing her hair. Obviously distracting the competition and checking out potential targets for her mind justu.

'_Fuck. I can't steal the answers at all! I can grab them from somebody but they'd catch me for sure. This sucks'_

zzzzzzzzz

Anko basked in the feel of her lover's skin. Iruka was still asleep, worn out from the pair's previous activities. Anko idly wondered how her genin were doing in the first exam.

'_I usually handle the second exam, but since my team is in the exam someone else will have to do it. I wonder who they suckered into it'_

Iruka yawned. Anko took the opportunity to playfully nip his ear.

"Ah what the?"

"Now that the innocent little traveler is awake, the big bad wolf is gonna eat him up!!"

"Come on Anko! Do we have to do these role play games? Aren't you worried about your students?"

"This is how I cope. Nom!"

Disregarding Iruka's complaints Anko pounced on him.

zzzzzzzzzzz


	15. Chapter 15

Kakashi stood impassively above the panting forms of his genin. They were covered in dirt, small scrapes and tears in their clothes were everywhere. Kakashi's ninken were lined up in front of the genin, still looking fresh.

"Well. Looks like this jutsu is a bit too much for you to handle. Go on home and we'll pick this up tomorrow"

Four puffs of smoke later and Kakashi and his ninken disappeared. Kiba rolled onto his back.

"Damn this is hard"

"Shut up Kiba. If you and Sasuke could just get along better-"

"Stop pushing your pervy yaoiness on us! That's just not right!"

Despite her tired state Sakura flushed in embarrassment.

"Tha-that has nothing to do with it!"

Sasuke scowled as he sat down in the dirt. For such a simple technique it was proving to be very difficult to learn. He turned to his teammates. After another choice comment Sakura beaned Kiba in the head with a rock. The Uchiha gave an uncharacteristic sigh.

'_And I have to synchronize with these fools? This jutsu is not worth it'_

zzzzzzz

Back in the exam room the pressure was mounting. Time was quickly passing and the proctors spared no one. Team after team was failed. But for one genin the test wasn't a concern. Gaara concentrated his sand into a third eye and sent it to spy on the other genin. Once he got the answers he caught sight of something unexpected.

'_What is this? Why is my third eye looking at that girl?' _

As Gaara puzzled over why his eye was drawn to Ino he realized something alarming.

'_My pulse is increased! My body temperature and breathing as well! How is she doing this? What strange power does she possess? She is not the container; but only another jinchuuriki's power should affect me. I must be wary of this girl'_

Ino caught the stare Gaara was leveling at her and sent him a little wave. The Suna genin reddened and steeled his resolve to learn more about this mysterious blonde girl.

'_The capillaries in my face have burst! This power she has… I cannot let it control me!'_

'_What a little cutie! He's obviously not had a lot of experience with girls. He's glaring at me like a six year old with his first crush! Wow, I really let Anko-sensei corrupt me. I was never this bad before. Ah who cares? Manipulating men is too much fun! I think I'll wink at him next'_

In another part of the room Hinata was on the verge of pouting. With her kekkei genkai the cheating was almost too easy and Naruto was nowhere near her.

'_Oh wait, with Naruto-kun's less than stealthy skills will he be able to get the answers? He's too far away for me to give any to him! What will I do?'_

Hinata activated her byakugan and quickly focused on Naruto. He was still sitting there with a blank test and slightly worried expression. Fretting, Hinata fidgeted nervously trying to think of a way to help her beloved Naruto. Ino spotted the frazzled Hyuga and figured Naruto was the cause. Stealthily she used her family jutsu to take control of Naruto's body and have him write the answers. Hinata watched this happen and sighed in relief. When Naruto got control of his body back he noticed his test was filled out. He gave a thumbs up to Ino in thanks.

"Alright you brats it's time for the final question. Pay attention because this one's a real dozy if you fail it"

Some of the braver genin in the room scoffed at the danger. Ibiki's cruel smirk slowly stretched across his face.

"Well aren't you tough? Doesn't matter though. If you take the final question and get it wrong, you're only banned from the chunin exams for life"

Amidst the outcries and protests Ibiki continued.

"But there's always the option of giving up and trying again next year. Your choice. You have fifteen minutes left"

zzzzzzzzz

Kakashi groaned as he flopped down on a bench. Asuma and Gai approached him.

"My rival, what has gotten to you? Your lethargy supersedes your usual temperament"

"Nice to see you too Gai. My genin are just … what's a more severe word than impossible?"

Ever prepared Gai pulls out his pocket dictionary to look for just such a word. Asuma puts out his cigarette.

"Ouch. They that bad?"

"Yeah. Mixing oil and water isn't as hard as making them get along. Coupled with the anger they feel towards me for not letting them in the chunin exams means I have a long few weeks ahead of me"

"Optimistic aren't you?"

"I like to think positively"

Gai bounds to his feet, striking a pose.

"How serendipitous! I have found the word you are looking for, my youthful rival! Its-"

Gai turned to see Kakashi's grateful face only to find twin straw dummies; one of Kakashi and one of Asuma. Breaking in to a youth themed rant about Kakashi spreading his 'hip cool ways' to others Gai dashed off to find his misplaced audience. That's when Asuma dropped the genjutsu.

"Picked up some pointers from your girlfriend?"

"Hey, we have to do something other than screw like rabbits"

"Still grounded?"

"Shut up"

zzzzzz

Back inside the exam room Ibiki decided it was time to let the genin off the hook. Over half the teams had quit, leaving only twenty teams out of the original hundred-odd.

'_It's times like this that Anko usually busts in. But none of that this year. I'd better enjoy it while I can'_

After a final word on where to go for the next test and the genin began to file out. Most met up with their teams before leaving.

"Naruto-kun! I was so worried for you"

"Feh. Nothing I couldn't handle"

Ino swatted the blonde on the back of the head.

"You only filled out the test because I gave you the answers"

"… nothing I and my team couldn't handle"

"Better"

Ino turned and started for the door, Hinata still firmly attached to Naruto's arm. She caught Gaara's eyes on her. With a sensual smirk on her lips she sauntered over to the red headed genin. She stopped in front of him, hip cocked. To really get his attention she bent over at the waist.

"Just so you know, starting at them isn't going to make them pop out"

And with that she spun on her heel and left. Temari noticed that Gaara's eyes were fixated on Ino's ass as she sashayed out.

zzzzzzzzzzzz

Omake

Anko and Kurenai were sitting on a log opposite the four genin kunoichi, all wearing green berets and sashes. A small campfire was steadily burning between them. Anko stood up.

"It is time for new badges to be handed out, Kunoichi Scouts. Den mother, if you don't mind?"

A large tick mark pulsed on Kurenai's forehead.

"Didn't I tell you not to call me that?"

"But you are the oldest member present and you do preside over this chapter of the Kunoichi Scouts"

"Remind me to kill you later. First up the badge for… no way… that's it I can't do this anymore"

Kurenai poofed away leaving Anko to fill in.

"Since the spoilsport is gone, Ino come collect your Maneater badge"

"Woohoo!"

"And Hinata you've earned the Educator's badge for your work with Naruto"

As the two receive their badges and pin them to their sashes Sakura takes a stand.

"This is unfair! You've only given badges to your own genin! This is favoritism!"

"Sit down, I'm not done yet. Ah here we go; Tenten you get the Gratuitous Fanservice badge for always being in Neji's sights when he turns on his byakugan"

"H-h-how d-did you know that!?!?"

"We senior Kuniochi Scouts have our ways. And the 'eat me' sign with the arrow; only visible to the byakugan, nice touch"

The very embarrassed meekly Tenten accepted her badge. Frustrated Sakura again shouts out.

"Wait a minute! Why am I the only one who didn't get a badge!? I've been working hard too you know!"

Anko sighed. She patted the distraught girl on the shoulder.

"Sorry Sakura. There are no yaoi author badges"

"But… but…"

"There is one for yaoi photography"

"But Kakashi-seme and Sasuke-kun would never get caught in the act!"

"Then that's your challenge. Kunoichi Scouts meeting adjourned!"


	16. Chapter 16

"You asked to see me Hokage-sama?"

"Yes. I need you to preside over the second part of the chunin exams"

"Even though my son is part of the examinees?"

"That should not make much of an impact here. After all the proctor has nothing to do with the teams passing or failing"

"Very well. I will perform my duty without fail"

"Thank you Shibi"

The quiet, insect riddled nin left the office. The aged leader returned to his never-ending stream of paperwork. A large explosion rocked the building.

"Honorable Grandson! Where did you get those exploding tags?"

Sarutobi buried his face in his hands. He really needed to find a better babysitter.

zzzzz

Baki sat across from Temari. The kunoichi noted the serious look on her sensei's face.

"There is a very serious duty that must be completed as soon as possible"

"Does this impact the mission? The plan isn't in jeopardy is it?"

"It could very well be. I need you to explain to Gaara about girls"

"… ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?"

"No"

Before Temari could respond Baki poofed into Karasu. Pinned to the front of the puppet was a handwritten note from Baki explaining that it was not a joke. As the blonde seethed Gaara walked through the door.

"I was told that you had something to discuss with me"

'_Baki-sensei, Kankuro… I will get you for this' _"Yes well. Oh god, this is so wrong. C'mon. Sit down. We need to talk about how you reacted to that girl today"

Gaara blushed at the memory. Feeling the heat he looked away from his sister.

"Well first off Gaara, now that you have started to notice girls we will have to talk about the differences between boys and girls…"

As the Talk continued Gaara became increasingly wide eyed. Hours later when Baki and Kankuro returned they found Gaara hugging his knees to his chest and slowly rocking on his heels.

"Oh Baki-sensei, Kankuro! How nice to see you!"

And a disturbingly placid Temari.

zzzzz

The next day the genin teams gather before the imposing Forest of Death. Most of the teams looked refreshed, Naruto in particular. Kankuro had more purple on his face than usual, not all from the 'war paint'. A large poof of smoke heralded the arrival of the proctor. Shibi stood in front of a small desk impassively.

"Fill out these forms and trade them for a scroll. When inside try to get its mate. Then go to the tower"

A chunin aid dashed around giving three forms to each team. One genin spoke up.

"What are the rules?"

"… do not look inside the scrolls … it would be unhealthy"

The assembled genin complete their forms and receive their scrolls and gate assignments.

Shino's team were the last to get their scroll.

"Father"

"Son"

"You almost emoted"

"I am consumed with worry for you"

Shikamaru scratched his head.

"So Chouji, you think they're serious?"

"I can't really tell with them"

zzzzzz

Naruto confidently spun the Heaven scroll on his finger.

"This is gonna be a breeze. We'll be done in no time"

"Naruto-kun, we are going to be fighting against other genin; we should be cautious"

"I'm not worried. Anko-sensei has trained us to be the best and now's our chance to show it. Besides your dad said he was looking forward to celebrating something after the exams right?"

Hinata blushed, knowing her father meant Neji not them, but the thought was heartwarming. Ino took in the scene and sighed.

'_Arg. Can they get anymore lovey dovey? Well yes, but still. They should be concentrating on something else. Like how we're going to get through this place. A max of ten teams can get both scrolls and reach the tower. This is not going to be as easy as Naruto thinks it'll be'_

A timer went off and the chain holding the fence closed dropped. All the teams raced inside. Naruto took point and lead the way to the tower.

"Wait you moron! We haven't talked about what our strategy is yet!"

"Why bother? Everybody is going to the tower so we can just go and catch somebody there"

"But isn't that what the other teams are thinking as well?"

"Exactly. That's why it's going to work"

"… you've never been overconfident before, have you?"

"No, I don't think I have"

"That was rhetorical"

"Uh wha?"

"Dammit Hinata! Why can't you teach him some vocabulary every once in a while?"

Hinata giggled at the exchange. Now that she thought about it she could stand to teach Naruto something other than etiquette. But how to convince Naruto to learn them. Well time enough for that later. Even if Naruto was at home here the other genin would be different.

"I think we should find a spot to rest away from the tower. That way we will be fresh when we attack"

"Good idea Hinata. Obviously the brains of the couple"

Hinata blushed at the praise.

zzzzzzzz

Kakashi looked at his students. Again they were endeavoring to master the jutsu that I the author refuse to name until either someone guesses what it is or I reach the point in the story where they finally learn it. And yes, it is an extant attack that involves three people at the same time.

"Keep up the good work! You'll get it down sooner or later"

"Stop saying that already! Akamaru! Go piss on him"

Kiba protectively snatched up his partner.

"Stop trying to control my dog you BL obsessed freak!"

"Then you tell him to piss on Kakashi-seme! Anything to get him to stop saying that line every five minutes"

Sasuke, irritated enough to actually participate in the conversation, spoke up.

"He's using a tape recorder"

"Really Sasuke-uk- kun?"

Sasuke leveled a glare at the pink haired girl.

"OH you are wondering about that little stutter I had. That was just some dust in my mouth; it wasn't me almost saying uke at all"

"Keep up the good work! You'll get it down sooner or later"

"Dammit won't somebody turn that off?!"


	17. Chapter 17

Ino grumbled. As it turned out Naruto was right to be so confident. They came across three teams and he smashed them all.

"You did tell me you could throw a freaking tornado out of your hand"

"Well you never asked"

"Don't get smart with me"

Hinata sighed.

"You were already aware that Naruto-kun knew a jutsu called the Arashidan. There is no reason to feel agitated at not knowing its exact description"

"I feel like being agitated so I'm agitated. Just how much stronger than the rest us is that muscle head of yours?"

"He is not a muscle head! He's just different that's all"

"I agree. The reason behind his difference is that he's a muscle head"

"Mou! He is not!"

"The 'girlfriend defending the intelligence of her man' thing is cute but it doesn't change the facts"

"Naruto-kun can do lots of things besides beating people up!"

Naruto looked at his matched pair of scrolls then back at Ino teasing his girlfriend.

"Um, anyone for entering the tower?"

""You stay out of this!""

Hinata was glaring cutely at Ino, determined to make her friend admit Naruto wasn't just dumb muscle. Ino, not really wanting to argue or lose the argument just turned from the girl.

"Whatever. Let's just enter the tower"

zzzzz

In an undisclosed location within the Forest of Death three impostor genin were having a meeting.

"So, none of you were able to find him? This is most displeasurable"

"I am sorry my master"

Suddenly Kabuto makes his appearance.

"Orochimaru-sama"

"Kabuto! Why are you here? Where is Sasuke?"

"You acted before I could report to you. Sasuke's team didn't qualify. They weren't even at the first exam"

"WHAT? How did this happen?"

"Apparently their jonin, Kakashi, didn't think they had the teamwork necessary to survive the exams and barred their entry"

"Damn. Then he is beyond my current reach"

"We could still tempt him to leave the village"

"For another time. Now I need to rethink my plan"

"Shall I say as much to the Suna forces?"

"For now"

zzzzzz

The time limit for the second exam expired. The teams that did pass were gathered in the ground floor arena in the tower. All the jonin sensei and proctors were present, standing at the front of the arena. The Hokage looked out at the finalists. One Suna team and four Konoha teams. Well, minus the one who quit saying he didn't think he could continue.

'_So, fourteen genin. In other years this would call for preliminaries to reduce the numbers. What the hell let's go right to the real thing. Need to check up on the quitter though'_

Discretely the Hokage whispered to one of the proctors.

"Ibiki-san. Make sure to investigate that genin; something was a bit off"

Clearing his throat Sarutobi walked forward to address the assembled genin.

"Congratulations on passing the second exam. Normally since there are so many of you we would hold preliminaries to reduce the number of participants. This year I think you all will participate. You each have one month to prepare yourselves; you will meet back in the main arena for a tournament style competition. Your performances will be judged and if adequate, advancement will be yours. The more you win the more chances you have to showcase your skills. I wish you the best of luck"

The genin dispersed to their slightly flabbergasted jonin as the Hokage smiled to himself and left.

zzzz

Anko found herself sitting at the dango shop with her genin.

"Well. This is a bit strange"

"That your whole team is going to the finals?"

"Not really; I just don't know how to train you all. You are each other's competition, you know"

"Well Daddy is sure to want to do my training. Hey Hinata what about you?"

Hinata fumbled over the question. Once again she gave into her nervous habit.

"Ano I think Chichue would prefer to take over my training but…"

She looked toward Naruto.

"Naruto-kun we still have that semi-formal dinner soon"

"Oh right. Your dad wanted me over for that. Wait wasn't it supposed to be a formal one?"

"Naruto-kun, that's for after the finals. And?"

"And I'll be on my best behavior and remember all the rules of being proper you taught me"

"Good"

Anko laughed at the pair.

"Be sure to reward him after he does a good job; that's the best way to train your pets"

"Naruto-kun is not a pet!"

"Works for men too"

"Anko-sensei!!"

"If you want a few tips on what kind of treats would be good; I got some real doozies"

"Mou!"

"Anyway it looks like I only need to train Naruto. That makes it easier. Gimme a few days to come up with a good program"

Anko left the shop and a pouting Hinata behind. Ino followed.

"About those doozies; can I learn them?"

zzzz

Naruto pulled at his collar as he made his way to the Hyuga main house. It had only been a day since the second exam ended which surprised the blonde. But the reason Hinata had given him did make sense. Getting the dinner out of the way left more time for training. Unsurprisingly the guards at the gate recognized him and let him in. What did surprise him were the two servants who greeted him. Two rather severe, motherly looking servants.

"Um… why are you looking at me like that?"

"It seems that Hiashi-sama was correct in calling for us"

"You will come with us. Resistance is futile"

The sounds of a struggle, profanity and a few crashes rang out through the mostly empty halls. Hinata flinched with each outburst, her worry soaring to untold heights.

"Hinata. It probably sounds worse that it is"

"Chichue…"

"They won't hurt him. Much"

"That doesn't make me feel any better!"

Hanabi sent annoyed little glares at her father. How dare he not invite Anko-sensei!

'_You will rue this day Otousan. My wrath will be swift and terrible'_

The other two guests sat in silent bemusement. The cacophony outside the dining area died down and everyone turned toward the door. It didn't take long for it to open and reveal Naruto.

"Heh. Hi-er…Greetings. I am honored to have been invited for such an occasion"

"It is our family who is honored to have you"

Naruto bowed and moved to the seat Hiashi indicated. Hinata felt all her worry evaporate at the sight of her lover. She half expected him to burst in with his suit askew and a cheesy smile on his face. But apparently the people her father had greet Naruto at the door cleaned him up very nicely. She almost had to fight down her blush. The clan head cleared his throat.

"Well now that we are all here we can begin"

The dinner itself was quiet pleasant; Naruto remembered all necessary rules and the food wasn't anything he was too surprised by. The people there he knew, to a certain extent. Hiashi, Hanabi, of course Hinata; Neji and his mother not so much.

"So. Mother finally gets to meet the infamous young man who captured the heart of my niece"

Naruto turned to the elegant woman sitting next to Neji.

"I've asked Neji-chan about you but he's being so unhelpful. Mother is troubled"

Neji flushed with embarrassment.

"Okasama…"

"Hmph. Neji-chan is so closed up about his life Mother doesn't know what to do"

Naruto continued to be confused as Neji unsuccessfully tried to hide behind his teacup. Hinata and Hanabi giggled softly.

"So you had better talk about yourself or Mother will be angry"

"Er um I ah…"

Neji continued to hide in vain as his mother pouted. Thankfully Hinata brought an end to the situation.

"Naruto-kun, Chiasa-basan wants you to talk normally"

"Oh. Okay. Er Chiasa-basan. Um. I guess you know my name… I'm still learning to be a better ninja and such, but I'll totally kick ass in the third exam!"

"Really? Mother is impressed!"

Neji groaned as his mother again made expressive gestures. This was precisely why he had never had his team, in whole or part, at home. She always had an over the top countenance, regardless of the situation. That and putting kemomimi on people. Hiashi chuckled.

"It seems that we have much to look forward to this year. Fourteen competitors in total"

"Is that true Oniisan? Mother will watch with much anticipation!"

"In fact tomorrow I begin Hinata's and Neji's training. So Naruto, who is handling your preparation?"

"Oh Anko-sensei is taking care of it"

Naruto could see the hate and envy coming from Hanabi's glare. Her aura fluttered her hair and her hand came dangerously close to snapping her chopsticks. Hinata cleared her throat nervously.

"Ano Hanabi-chan. Chichue will me busy training me and Neji-niisan so if you want you could go with Naruto-kun and-"

"Honto!?"

Hanabi's eyes flashed with shining hope. Hinata nodded.

"I'm sure Anko-sensei wouldn't mind"

Hanabi jumped up and began bouncing around in joy. Chiasa joined her, putting cat ears on the young girl and bunny ears on herself. As they circled the table Chiasa put fox ears on Naruto, bunny ears on Hinata, dog ears on Hiashi and gerbil ears her son Neji.

"Come on everyone! Dance party!"

Confused Naruto was pulled along by Hinata as Hanabi did the same to Hiashi. As they all danced around the table Neji stayed unresponsive. Until his mother grabbed his collar and dragged him along.

zzzz

The next day Naruto found himself leading a still sparkling Hanabi. He was off to meet Anko not at the dango shop but at their team's usual training ground.

'_I wonder if all semi-formal parties are like that one last night…'_

'_I finally get to meet Anko-sensei! We're going to have such fun today!!'_

As the pair approached the training ground they spy Anko drinking red bean soup out of a can.

"Hey Naruto! You didn't trade out your girlfriend for a younger one did you?"

"Eh? No way! This is her little sister!"

"Cheating on your girl with her sister? You bad bad boy"

Naruto growled as Hanabi bounced up.

"My name is Hyuga Hanabi. I am so glad to finally meet you"

"That so? So you come to keep an eye on him for Hinata?"

"Not really. I heard about you from Neechan"

"And you wanna hang out for awhile? Just let me get started with Naruto first"

Hanabi nodded as Anko turned to her student. A cruel grin lights upon her face.

"Alright gaki! Time to make you the guaranteed winner of the final exam!"

As enthusiastic as Naruto was, the look Anko was giving him gave him a few doubts. His doubts were confirmed when Anko summoned a pair of large snakes and ordered them to attack.

"Play with these guys for a bit as a warm up. Then the real work begins"

It did not take Naruto long to evade and knock out the snakes. He was very unprepared for Anko to attack, blasting him with a wide variety of ninjutsu. Hanabi even joined in; loosing many projectiles at her prospective brother-in-law. Many hours later Naruto's bone tired, bruised, slightly bleeding body lay breathing heavily on the grass. Anko ate some dango with Hanabi while sitting on a log.

"So. Having fun yet?"

"I sure am Anko-sensei! I'm so jealous that Neechan get you as a jounin instructor. I wanna have this much fun everyday!"

"I like you kid. I think we're gonna have lots of fun together"

Hanabi squealed and glomped Anko, who affectionately rubbed her head.

'_Hm. Maybe kids aren't so bad. I wonder f I could get her approved as my apprentice'_

Back at the Hyuga compound Hiashi felt a sudden, inexplicable chill.

"My word. I feel as though someone just stepped on my grave"

zzzz

-basan – suffix for aunt; also used for older women, many women worried about their age or losing their looks take offence to being referred to as this

Kemomimi – animal ears; common forms are nekomimi and inumimi, cat and dog ears respectively

Honto – really


	18. Chapter 18

The month flew by. Young warriors endured harsh training for a chance to shine on a grand stage. Electricity filled the air as the crowds gathered in the arena. An audible buzz could be heard even down to the arena floor, where the competitors stood.

"Everybody has clean underwear on, right?"

"Iyaa! Naruto-kun!"

The other competitors had various degrees of amusement at the comment. They were mostly worried about their upcoming matches and the fact that there were going to be so many; by the typical chunin exam standards. The Sandaime stood up and addressed the crowd.

"Good people of Hi no Kuni and other lands; I believe we have waited enough. Let the tournament begin!"

The crowd roared its approval and Hayate coughed as he turned to the fighters.

"Alright, the rules **cough** are simple; fight until one of you gives up or can't continue. The first two up are Rock Lee and **cough** Kankuro. The rest go to the waiting area"

The rest of the fighters left leaving the smirking puppet user and Lee standing in the arena floor.

"Man are you in for it. The stupid outfit of yours isn't going to help you win this at all"

"What folly! Armed with this I am ready to explode with the power of youth!"

In case any of the readers have forgotten, Lee had been wearing a power blue polyester leisure suit. But for the exam finals he switched for a frilly pirate shirt and tight black pants. Back in the fight Kankuro pulled his still covered puppet off his back.

"Let's see you 'explode' then"

"Osu!"

Lee dashed forward, punching Kankuro in the face. The black clad boy bounced off the ground twice as he flew back. Surprising everyone he stood back up.

"Not bad. I was hoping to have some fun!"

Kankuro rushed forward, punching at Lee. Lee avoided every strike with ease.

"Certainly you can do more than this my friend"

"I'm not your friend buddy!"

Two extra arms sprouted from Kankuro, intent on smashing Lee. But Lee had leapt up and flipped in to an ax kick, nearly crushing Kankuro's head. The expert taijutsu user landed lightly and hopped back to make some distance. Impossibly Kankuro stirred.

"Oh you're gonna pay for that"

Now standing Kankuro's puppet dropped its disguise. Karasu dropped its jaw and fired poison darts. Lee avoided them deftly.

"So it is as I suspected. It was a puppet and not a human body"

Knowing the jig was up Kankuro revealed himself. Anger evident on his face Kankuro opened up multiple panels and innumerous needles flew at Lee. Unfortunately for Kankuro Lee had jumped into the air. Karasu was commanded to grab and crush the projectile human. Kankuro was dumbstruck when pieces of rock fell.

"What? But how?"

"Simple"

With a crushing right Lee knocked Kankuro out cold. The shirtless Lee walked over to where Karasu fell to the ground and retrieved his shirt. Hayate pointed at Lee.

"Winner Rock Lee"

As Lee made his way to the waiting area Temari was mesmerized.

'_I've never seen anyone do something like that before! How did he manage to move so fast?'_

Lee had put his shirt back on by the time he got back to the waiting area. Temari felt a slight twinge of disappointment.

"Tch. So you finally figured out the Kawarimi"

"In a manner of speaking"

Neji narrowed his eyes as he looked at the hole in the ground where a large rock had been.

'_I almost missed it. Lee managed to procure a stone, place his shirt on it and launch it in enough time to fool his opponent's eyes. He is more dangerous than before'_

Up in the stands the Sandaime suppressed a chuckle as the visiting Kazekage seethed.

"How dare my son lose in such a manner. He was trained better than that!"

"Relax Kazekage-dono. That Rock Lee can even give some of our jonin trouble"

"So you say"

Hayate called the crowd to silence as the next two fighters are named. Tenten and Chouji took their positions opposite each other, waiting for Hayate's signal.

"Hajime!"

Chouji exploded into action, calling up his family's jutsu to immediate effect. The resulting massive ball of flesh thundered towards Tenten. The weapons specialist leapt up to a great height and unfurled a scroll.

"You gotta try harder than that to beat me. Yari no ame!"

Lager spears rain down around the spinning Chouji, caging him in place. Tenten landed with a confident look on her face.

'_Aw man. I can't spin anymore! Now I gotta shrink to get out. She's sure to pick me off if I do that! Wait! I can do that instead!'_

As Tenten readies herself to attack again Chouji began to bounce.

"Oh come on! He can do that too?"

As the meaty ball crested over the top of the spears Chouji popped out his head to locate his opponent.

"I got you now! Nikudan Sensha!"

"I wouldn't be so sure. This was a toy but..water slide, debut!"

And before the incredulous eyes of the crowd a moderately large water slide appeared above Tenten. Chouji, incapable of stopping himself slid up the length of the slide and went flying into the wall. He shrank down and stumbled around a bit before standing upright.

"Is that all you got, girly? I could do this… all… d-"

Tenten didn't bother responding to the verbal barb, instead pulling out yet another scroll. She twirled in a pirouette and a flood of steel surged toward the rotund boy. He dodged desperately; knives, kama, kunai, shuriken, needles, all flying at him at incredible speed. It was only a matter of time before they struck home.

"Bunbun Baika no jutsu!"

The sudden gain of bulk protected the Akimichi from serious injury, but many of the sharp projectiles stuck into his flesh. Tenten stopped her attack.

"Looks like I win. You can't spin anymore and if you shrink I throw more"

Chouji popped his head out and conceded his defeat. Tenten waved to the crowd and returned to the waiting area. Carefully medics pulled the weapons out of his skin and instructed him to shrink. They then carted him off to join Kankuro in the medical ward.


End file.
